If god truly liked and/or loved you, god would not allow you to question and seek.
God is not something to aspire to, look for or be like.
God is consciousness (true self, true you) attempting to wake you up while dreaming.
The dreamer knowing full well that the dream characters are part of the dream.
You are the dreamer (god) while observing the dreams....this reality (while more dense) is no really differernt. There are no answers outside, for the outside does not exist.........it may sound lonely, but that's just how you fundamentally are.
Max
PS You can substitute the word 'god' for light, source, consciousness, universe, love, power, energy, etc, etc.

God until you break through the illusion of the self and the dream.