Being Interesting/Being Boring Duality

[JasonC]

Hi All,

I have been trying on a lot of extremes in thinking and being... One being, boredom.

Everyone's ego tries its best to remain "special" a lot of times. To have interesting stories. To do things and have experiences for the sake of "interesting stories"... and yet, everyone is the same.

And when you come down to it, everyone is interesting. But at the same time, everyone is equally just as boring in their interestingness.

And I realized, for myself, I've had this attachment to trying to be special, or thinking I am *so* cool and interesting.

So, for the past few days I've really meditated on myself being utterly boring. And I've felt really boring. It's a weird experiment. And half of myself still feels like, hm, maybe it's interesting that I'm doing this.

How do we surpass our ego's wishes to be interesting and cool?

I meditated, and I think I accepted my boring side. And everyone that is boring.

What are your thoughts on being boring, boredom, and so forth?

[Parthon]

The first thing is that there really is no duality. There's only just "stuff that happens" and it's the ego interpretation that makes it interesting or boring. What could be interesting to one person could be utterly boring to another. So the deeper truth is that you can't *be* interesting, you just be whatever, and let interesting happen.

I think the best way to overcome the ego's need to be more interesting is to surrender it to a more important cause. Just like being liked or being popular, being interesting is unattainable, and the ego cements itself in your mind by chasing after the unattainable. You also notice that the need to be interesting creates a lack, a gulf that can never be filled. You will never be interesting enough. It creates boring as a fear, to be scared of the mundane and ordinary.

Now, the real question would be: If you didn't have to be interesting, or boring, what would you be? What would you do, if you didn't have to try and be interesting? What's your deepest passion that has nothing to do with being interesting? Start looking there.

[Odd-Arne]

That`s an easy one for me.

You know, seriously, I`m never bored. How could when there is aways so much to see and learn wherever you are in every situation. It`s a basic subject on being responsible for our own entertainment, though most common entertainment doesn`t interest me, and just living how you want. Another way of saying that is that when you`re on your mission you`re never bored cause it`s what`s most important to you and the work and knowledge is infinite. You also undertand it`s place in the growth of human kind, cause everything done with those intentions is unique and important.

Being interesting and special is an extremely validation based frame based on what a few narrow channels condsider cool in the moment. If those don`t rule your reality you are free to enjoy whatever you want without any nagging thoughts.

You are the only person who`s opinion matters when it comes to what makes your own life interesting.

Now things that bore me personally are eg. TV. But I just have to turn it off and I`m not bored anymore.

Theres also a thing about people who think others are boring, they don`t bore me, they`re just anoying, mostly because I know there`s nothing I can do for them and it never fucking stops. Hence I let them go for the time being, with no guilt.

When you get in contact with the real natural reality we live in and look at all the things modern humans have forgotten, there is just so much beauty, wisdom and knowledge right under your noses.

This is one of the reasons I`ve gotten into something like survival and wild nutrition. Drop the average western man naked out in the woods and he`ll likely be dead in a matter of days. There are cultures in the world where such a person would not be considered a real man and I guess I think they`re right to think so. It`s not a pride thing, rather it`s a way to get our perspectives and senses back, to widen our minds and really listen to and see our mother in all her glory and the true abundance she has to offer to every part of our being.

This model can then be transfered as a metaphor onto every living person and thing and expanded upon.

So I to sum it up, I consider boredom just a symptom of lacking perspective and freely chosen nearsightedness. There is more than enough in every living entity to entertain us for an infinite number of lifetimes. No exceptions, we just have to choose to see it and not accept what media, school, religion, our parents and so on have presented as reality to be all that there can be to life and existance. Most modern western humans live in a pointless fake status game with no sense of their own true inmeasurable value. Most agree, at least intellectually, on what is truly important in life, but we have attached a lot of unnecessary cultural and material gunk to it, so much in fact, that that is now all that many of us see.

With so many breathtaking miracles taking place all the time, how can one really be bored?

Now if this could be brought into your work and your relationships as well, how can they not be exciting and fulfilling all the time?

[Lee]

What are your thoughts on being boring, boredom, and so forth?

"being boring"- "others being boring" is a personal judgement- drop it.

Bordeom however is saying, "you're close".

Entertainment and "interesting" are mind candy. Boredom is the mind deprived of its fixes. It's a good place to be. Just be bored- allow it.

[JasonC]

thanks for the responses.

I like your perspectives.

I think I was irked about boredom and boringness when one of my friends kept calling people "boring"
It offended me for him to write people off as "boring" without much more thought behind it.
I guess I started to think about whether I was interesting or not...

You're right Odd, it's hard to satisfy those people's perceptions of interesting... and trying to is a waste of time and energy. And he does get quite annoying...

Also, I really appreciated your insight Parthon, on surrendering the ego's unattainable need for validation: being interesting, cool, popular, liked, etc.

Thanks all,

[Jonas]

Thanks for posting about this! The need to be interesting and special has been lurking in the back of my mind a lot lately, and I'm taking some time to meditate and let it go today. Two observations from my personal experience with this:

1) Creating an interesting persona for myself has really been an act of putting up walls, trying to be invulnerable. I don't want anyone to reject my Self as boring, and so I try to create a persona that can never be boring, that no one will reject. Letting go of the need to be interesting feels like carefully taking down these walls, revealing the vulnerable being inside.

2) The vulnerable being inside is a thousand times more interesting than any persona! It's the usual paradox: by desiring to be interesting, you become less so, and by desiring to be invulnerable you put up these walls around yourself that are highly vulnerable. I have this belief that a real human being can never be boring to me, only people's egos can evoke that feeling. And this goes double for myself: only my ego can bore me, as long as I dare to be open to my real Being, I'm never bored.

[JasonC]

Great post Jonas! While reading your post, I had a few realizations.

That the ego tries to make ourselves interesting all the time. In fact, even coming here and learning spirituality... the ego enjoys, because it is acquiring something unique and interesting.
Something to make ourselves cooler.

But you're right. It is when you drop the ego clouds, that the light shines through effortlessly and is truly the 'interesting' part.

It's kind of like meditation. Letting go of the mind and just being. But whenever you think... "whoa, I'm meditating..." - you're not anymore. We're using our minds, instead of just Being.
Or in this case, "whoa, I'm being interesting" - you are actually not again. It is consciousness, God, or whatever that is shining through you.

You're not doing anything... this can be a frightening realization for the ego. The lack of control is frightening.

Breathe, just be.

Oh the paradoxes! Gotta love them.

[Parthon]

That's a very interesting insight. The ego creates a persona in order to be interesting, but it's a ghost, it's not real. It's little more than an echo of an imagination, so thin and so shallow. This persona though isn't you, it's a wall, a shield. If someone rejects the persona, they haven't rejected you, so therefore you are safe. You can't be rejected because noone knows you.

On the flip side, the cost is that noone knows you. You feel disconnected and alone. Even when people like you, find you interesting and popular, it's just an illusion, they don't like the real you.

Myself, I'd prefer to be rejected as who I am, 100%, through and through, than be accepted as some pale version of myself. I would rather be denied real connections, than accept the wimpy versions we call popularity.

But, you find out that being who you really are, and not using a persona, you find people really enjoy the real you. They connect with you and you with them. It's a more balanced whole, a more loving friendship. And they accept you for you.

[CaterpillarWoman]

I've been following this thread and all I keep thinking is that "interesting" is in the eye of the beholder, and NOBODY is interesting to everyone, so how could you possibly be "interesting"? Who's your target demographic, and why do those people matter more than other people? How are you going to be interesting to someone whose greatest passion is, say, stamp collecting? Or steam locomotives? Or Tudor history? You can't possibly be interesting to everyone, it's simply not possible.

The thing is, you don't have to kill your desire to be this or that. You just have to get rid of your attachment to whatever it is, that is, you have to stop thinking that unless you have it, you won't be happy (or cool, or popular, or whatever it is you think you'll be if you do have it).

I hope that makes sense, I'm not sure if I'm wording it very well (trouble with communicating lately, due to dissolving of familiar social contexts).