by Ismaelia » Sun Apr 26, 2009 9:42 am
And what about purgatory? Does anyone out there ever feel like they're in some kind of in- between state like purgatory? I know I create my own experience so why do I feel like I'm in this nowhere place? I don't feel bliss and yet I'm not depressed or angry. I move in and out of alignment with awareness and would prefer to remain in the alignment of course but now writing this I don't feel as though I really care about that either.
Part of me is tired of this feeling and another part of me just doesn't care either way. I read this blog almost every day and most of the time have nothing to say. Nothing comes to mind till now. Now, finally it arises for me to share this with you.
I have moments of intense love and bliss but they are fleeting. I release my expectations as much as I know how to do and yet here I am writing this to you with tears in my eyes. oh well. don't mean to be a downer and yet I write this in awareness so I guess it is meant to be. :-))
After rereading this I just want to add that no one seems to notice how I'm feeling. It is so strange and I don't feel like I'm explaining it very well and yet these are the words that arise for me now. When I talk to people my words sound perfectly normal and loving and content and kind. That is not depression.
Any thoughts?
Thank you for allowing me to share mine.
Love to you all,
Ismaelia
Thank you!