Homosexuality issues

[Yashua]

I used to struggle with defining my sexual orientation and at one point i felt fear about the possibility of being gay because of all the negative implications that society has and all the hatred aganist the gay community, especially from conservative christians. As i moved in my spiritual journey i realized that i don't need any identification with any sexual orientation, (gay, bi, straight) and that it was totally okay to completely accept myself and just be. I didn't judge who i was attracted to based on gender anymore and i found out that i was actually much more attracted to girls. I think what happened was that i have a fascination and appreciation for the human body, both male and female, and i find both beautiful and incredible. However, whenever it comes to relationships and sex, i prefer girls. I have experienced with guys but i still find myself drawn towards girls. I do find the male body beautiful but in a different way, although people think i'm gay because i sometimes stare at guys or look deep into their eyes, but I think it's just an appreciation for both genders. It's not in a sexual way.

I was wondering what are your views on homosexuality? experiences? opinions about gay rights?
And why do you think there is so much hatred and discrimination towards the glbt community? do you think our society is moving forward towards tolerance and equality? maybe same-sex marriage? I hope so.

[JasonC]

Well, there's a loaded question :P
Not a bad question, but we could discuss this all day and night about the reasons "WHY" people hate the LGBT community,
Homophobia
they fear something it represents for themselves in themselves
they fear something unknown, uncategorized, people like to fit others into boxes, and when someone does not fit neatly, the establishment tends to label them deviants - homosexuality was actually considered a mental illness by psychiatrists until not too long ago.

In fact, homosexuality was not even "invented" until recently in human history in the 20th century with the medicalization of homosexuality, before it was just called "guys doing things with other guys"

which culturally, in some contexts was considered more nobel - in the native american culture, they were called two-spirited, and were sought after for relationship advice by heterosexual couples, they were seen as much more sensitive and intuitive...

In ancient Greek culture, philosophers used to have sex with little boys, and it was deemed sophisticated and accepted as something noble...

homosexuality was deemed a "sin", by the doctors, who were mainly influenced by protestant morals, "the Bible says its bad". Christianity, doing the good deed of god once again.

There is no "good" or "bad".

Just as George W. Bush says, "If it feels good, do it"

Personally, I don't think anyone ever fits neatly into the categories constructed by our society, in experience, you'll find that most people are somewhere in the middle of the spectrum of gay or straight, and it takes a brave soul to admit to it. So props to you for that.

[Ariel]

Wow Yashua, that whole big first paragraph sounds like it's my words. I know exactly what you mean...

JasonC's words here rock as well:

Personally, I don't think anyone ever fits neatly into the categories constructed by our society, in experience, you'll find that most people are somewhere in the middle of the spectrum of gay or straight, and it takes a brave soul to admit to it. So props to you for that.

[Yashua]

Really Ariel? thanks, that makes me feel great, that you know exactly what i mean

[Lissa]

I used to struggle with defining my sexual orientation and at one point i felt fear about the possibility of being gay because of all the negative implications that society has and all the hatred aganist the gay community, especially from conservative christians.

I myself had that same challenge. As a little girl I remember praying to god to make sure that I wouldn't turn out gay. My dad made it pretty clear to us kids that homosexuality was "wrong". We were raised christian of course. The weird thing about it is my dad is actually bi, but he suppressed it because his religious beliefs.

However, whenever it comes to relationships and sex, i prefer girls. I have experienced with guys but i still find myself drawn towards girls. I do find the male body beautiful but in a different way, although people think i'm gay because i sometimes stare at guys or look deep into their eyes, but I think it's just an appreciation for both genders. It's not in a sexual way.

I kinda had a toss up about that as well, but after chatting with a friend about it over and over I agreed that if I was bi that I would be "being" bi.

I will say that there are females that I found myself being attracted to...but I could not picture it in a romatic in love or any type of committed relationship with a female so I took it as that I am straight. I just never caught myself day dreaming about dating a girl. I know of women who do and they have no problem with "knowing". If my thoughts changed on this I guess I would have to be open to it, but it hasn't opened yet. I will say that I feel it is a beautiful thing to be open to that.

Alot of the the less than loving vibes toward homosexuals seems to come from religion. I mean they talk of stonings and all this other stuff....of course they also say to stone your kids if they get out of line, so you know where that logic is coming from.

Personally it appears to me that there are some people that swing more to specific sides than others and it is just their preference.

I'm also finding that I am actually the one who is attached to old ideas and beliefs about how things are and when I release those and I am ok with it then the world is too, and anything that is not ok with it falls away.

Being ok with loving you however you show up seems to also create others that love you just as you show up too!

Would we want it any other way?

I'm finding that if I am not loving the way I show up that I just need to shine a little more lovin that way!

[Jonas]

Yup, I agree that most people are "somewhere near the middle", and there's no good reason to feel guilty or be afraid because of that I had some sexual games with a male friend when I was very young, so of course I was paranoid as hell during puberty, afraid that I was really gay and suppressing it. The first time I talked about this with a male friend, the immediate response was "Wow, you too?!?" What a relief

I don't consider myself bisexual (if there's any sense in putting a label on it), as my attraction is towards the feminine. But I appreciate beauty in both genders, and I'm not grossed out about the idea of sex among men. When I started my first relationship at the age of eighteen, many of my friends admitted they had thought I was probably gay all along, which I guess is partly because of the "deep staring" and all that, but also because I was lacking the usual "go out and get laid" mentality.

So, if it really is true that most people are nearer the middle of the spectrum (actually, fueled by Stephane's theory of bisexuality among girls, I've conducted some personal research and found that 13 out of 14 girls that I've talked to properly admits bisexuality, whereas the fourteenth girl actually had had sex with a girl) no wonder there's so much hatred. It must be difficult to force yourself into a "normal" masculine model you don't fit... http://www.apple.com/trailers/magnolia/outrage/

[fromjoy]

i sometimes stare at guys or look deep into their eyes, but I think it's just an appreciation for both genders. It's not in a sexual way.

I love this! I really feel like there is a Movement towards deep Love and Appreciation for both genders. When we realize that we each have the qualities of both with in us. I can see this in you. You have great strength to be able to look deep into anyones eyes to see the beauty of their soul and not want anything from them.

Thanks for your openness! May you be Blessed for turning your fear to Love.

[Lee]

I think gay men would say you're all gay.

[Joel]

Fear of homosexuality is SOOOOOO prevalent, even though we all probably thought that problem was over. Guys are always tacking "..not that I'm gay or anything." onto the end of sentence to shield their insecurity. Me too. I do it unconsciously sometimes. Deep down we are mortally frightened of appearing gay. Think about what happened to Harvey Milk and countless other people killed for being gay. KILLED! That's really scary.

I've been afraid to hug gay men in the past for fear of giving them the wrong idea. Many times I've been cold to my gay friends. Afraid to open up out of fear that they will mistake it for romantic advances. AND THEY MIGHT! But, mind will always try to jump the worse conclusion possible, and omit the idea that you could just politely tell them you aren't interested.

I totally understand where this post is coming from.