Ariel wrote:scarface wrote:I remember for myself the biggest confusion in this state was about Love (in general) and in Love in the romantic relationship sense (especially what to do with the preferences (looks and personality) I had).
Yeah, no kidding!!
I've had ppl think I'm gay because I'll simply sustain eye contact with them for so long, guys included.
There's the confusion of if I'm gay or bi since there's so much love for both men and women. Fundamentally I don't feel much difference, yet it's not a romantic love at all. There's a different love that arises that is more sexual and romantic, but it seems so secondary.
Plus there is the ability to get really connected and deep with any person, and that too can be confused with romantic love.
Yeah, the confusion I experienced was mostly on the fact that I had selective criteria's when it came to Romantic/Relationship Love. Which didn't fit in with the Love/Compassion I was starting to experience on a daily basis for all people. With that here there were no selection criteria and merely experiencing and accepting people as they are.
I experienced that I treated people that I wasn’t sexually/romantically interested in with more Love and compassion then women that I was sexually/romantically interested in. This caused confusion for me, and took some time to resolve. The reason that I treated women I was sexually/romantically interested in not as well, was because I created all kinds of criteria/standards and also rules which over time had gotten pretty hardwired into me. You know criteria’s like she: needs to be open, attentive, good communicator, etc.. And therefore I was less accepting (and therefore Loving and Compassionate) of certain character treats or behaviour. And also rules like: if after 3 dates no sex it’s over, etc..
This confusion I did resolve with the concept that: the Love/Compassion I was experiencing for all people, and the Romantic/Relationship Love is just that also, and that I not needed to be adding it with selective criteria's and rules. I couldn’t bare the difference any longer I had conceptualized about Love/Compassion in general and Romantic/relationship Love. To me they had always appeared as 2 different kinds of Love, but then I saw they are were actually One and the same kind.
So from then on the Romantic/relationship Love was just that Love/Compassion I experienced for all. The only difference for me from then on was that with the Romantic/relationship Love there is the added want to spend more (intimate) time with that women. That (extra) want being something which I see as a hormonal/biological response in my body, saying: "she matches with my genes, etc.”.
Well that was my experience on this, bye Scarface.