Thank you for sharing your experiences, Ariel, it's wonderful that we can be so open here
I've also felt something like that a few times before... It's way bigger than anything anyone could ever imagine and it's the most beautiful feeling ever-Love in its purest form.
I found it almost painful to read about your confusion because it brought up my own so could really feel it...I've been wandering for a while now, after going through countless ups and downs, I'm not really sure how to carry on deepening into realisation, as all techniques seem to be just the mind trying to attain something or get somewhere. Even as I type this, there's a wanting to know how do I let go, how do I surrender, how do I allow, how do just stop going round in circles, when will the conflicts between the soul and the person end ... and I recongnise these as questions are from the mind... Ultimately though, is it a choice that we make? Or is it more like actually not having a choice about anything? I don't think I know anything anymore...
As you mentioned in your previous post, I've also had the sense that I have some kind of special, direct purpose in the awakening process and yet I feel like I've betrayed that somehow by focusing on the more earthly matters in my life lately, which are just taking up most of my attention...
What's a girl to do?
Wishing you peace,