Desires/needs, anxieties and peace of mind.
Being concerned with my personal peace and happiness. I noticed that the following things/experiences/etc often caused a disturbance of my peace of mind/happiness in the moment:
* wanting things/experiences/feelings/etc. that I didn’t have (desires/needs);
* having feelings (anxieties), that I didn’t want and therefore wanted to get ride off.
So I sat down, to see what the actual process was that was going on within me. I noticed in this process, 3 things happen (almost, if not totally, simultaneously):
1. There arises a feeling/emotion or thought
2. The mind (interferes, and) puts a label on it.
3. The mind (interferes, and) takes delivery of this label to the “me”, and therefore says I am [insert label].
So basically the process I noticed was: a feeling arises, it gets labeled and addressed to myself as if I own it. I also noticed that point 2 and 3 were the (possible) causes of the disturbance of my peace of mind in that moment. Further investigating it: I noticed if just 1 happens (2 and 3 not) there is peace and no problem. I noticed that if just 1 and 3 happen, there is peace and no problem. I noticed that if just 1 and 2 happen, there is peace and no problem.
Now seeing this trap, and the 2 “mistakes” I (aka my mind) makes, it no longer functions as a trap. And now desires and anxieties no longer get to me, and my personal happiness/peace of mind is almost continuous nowadays.
To give an example. I saw (what I think is) a beautiful women walking towards me. This external stimulus caused a certain feeling/emotion (step 1) in me. Let’s say I felt (slightly) sexually aroused. Then my mind interferes and puts a label on the feeling, it says: “there is a horny/sexual feeling, and that is good/bad/disrespectful/appreciative/etc..” (step 2). Then the mind interferes again and addresses it to me, and then says: “YOU are horny, YOU are being good/bad/disrespectful/appreciative/etc..”(step 3).
And then for instance I didn’t want to feel that way because I had labeled it as bad. So then I wanted to get ride of that feeling/emotion, which I didn’t succeed in. So that becomes and anxiety, something I had and wanted to get ride of.
The above example was about an so called “anxiety”, which is something one wants to get ride of. Well I noticed that actually the same process applies to so called desires/needs, which is something one doesn’t have yet and wants to have/experience.
Now, when I am paying attention to (witnessing) this process going on in me (noticing how I switch between witnessing the feeling and then witnessing the interferences of the mind and seeing that going on back and forward back and forward within me), while living my life. Desires/needs and anxieties no longer arise, because they only arose in my because of that interferences (step 2 and 3) of the mind.
Now when I said this earlier to people that desires/needs are no longer there, they said this would lead to passivity because of their believe that your desire/needs is what makes you do things. Well I wasn’t 100% sure at first if this would lead to passivity or not. But now I can say from experience that for me is didn’t lead to passivity at all.
If things are not so clear to you, or have any questions. Or want to comment on it. Feel free, Cheerio, Scarface.