Posts Tagged ‘Allowing’
“You’re not here to teach what you’ve learned, but to be who you are.”
-Matt Kahn
When Matt told me this in our discussion the other day, we could both tell he struck a major chord within me.
As I began exploring this statement more deeply, I found myself having no idea who I would be without doing the whole spiritual teaching thang… Whoa! How quickly we fall into our roles…
Improving the World
So a part of me wants to “make the world a better place” and all that jazz. Something that’s common amongst us guys is that we like fixing things. If someone has a problem, offer them a solution so we can solve the problem. If someone’s suffering and feeling limited, help them know the truth for the truth shall set them free.
With respect to teaching, this tendency may become so intense that it can develop into wanting to practically beat people over the head with spiritual concepts and becoming somewhat preachy, particularly when we first invalidate the other. I’m not saying that this energy is the driving force behind my sharings by any means, but it can occasionally creep in nonetheless. It’s helpful to bring awareness to this and to recognize when the ego is doing its egoey thing.
For a while now it felt like the best way I could be in service to the world and give to others was to help spread spiritual messages and share spiritual teachings, just like many of the great spiritual leaders of yesterday and today. Hence this blog. This teaching/sharing thing has been an integral part of my path for many years now. I am now recognizing a shift in energy and the progressive diminishment of interest in talking about all this spiritual stuff so much…
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Alright, so here’s something we see that’s pretty common in spiritual circles:
People are suffering and resisting what is (basically your typical ego stuff) and then learn about surrendering and allowing everything to be as it is. They hear phrases like “turn the other cheek” and give up struggling with what is. In a sense, this takes the wind out of the sails of the ego.
Great, cool. No longer do they fight, struggle, and demand that things should be different than they are. They basically give up trying to control their reality, but often they go to the other extreme and turn into passive wimps, basically neutered their sense of inner power sense. I’ve written about this previously in the article Does Surrendering Control Mean I Don’t Do Anything?
The Second Part of “Allowing Everything To Be As It Is”
This next part is often missed… You see, once we allow everything to be as it is, we notice that there is a totally natural and healthy desire to change things that, unlike all of the compulsive fear-based stuff we’ve let go of before, doesn’t arise from the anxious, fearful ego. This energy is Source/Creation itself expressing itself through you in physical manifestation. You become a vessel through which the creative power of the entire universe flows. How’s THAT for power!?
This power that arises seeks not power over others, but power WITH others. It uplifts the one and the all and creates win/win scenarios. It doesn’t seek to raise one up over the other in a win/lose scenario as the egoic energy so often did.
This is the third chakra taking action when in alignment with Source, rather than being dominated by the ego. Instead of being closed down, it becomes an open powerhouse for the Divine.
Look, did Jesus, Gandhi, Mother Theresa, or MLK Jr. sit around meditating and surrendering all day? Heck no! While that may certainly have been a big part of their process, they truly opened up to allowing the mind/body/soul to be used in service to the Divine and entered the world with this energy… and there was some serious mojo behind their actions!
They become flow-ers of Divine Energy, living from a place of inner inspiration, living from the stillness within.
This desire is the desire to create and be or do something out of the sheer joy of doing it, out of the pure expression of what you truly are. It’s Life seeking to experience itself through a physical body. It is Creation creating.
So… allowing everything to be as it is also includes allowing our inner being’s innate movement to create to be as it is as well, and allow our bodies and minds to follow through on this energy when it feels right!
“Everything is perfect about the universe, including your desire to change it.”
Question:
Dear Ariel,
You must experience negative emotions, right? If so, how do you deal with them when they arise?
Thanks,
M.
My Response:
Yep, I’m just as human as anyone else. We are human beings. Even when we are “being,” there is still the human side of us happening as well.
Perhaps when we are fully enlightened and have completely healed all our unbeneficial energies, we will no longer experience any negative emotions, but until then, there’s still more healing and transformation work to be done to reconnect fully back to our light, our essence.
Now, with respect to dealing with negative emotions, there are soooo many ways of dealing with them. There’s therapy, journaling, exercising, thinking more positive thoughts, drugs, and so on. I’m sure you’ve tried many methods as well. We all have.
Here’s what I have found works best for me at this point in my life:
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Have you ever played the telephone game? You know, person A whispers something into the ear of person B, who whispers the very same thing (hopefully) into the ear of person C, who whispers that same message (theoretically) into the ear of person D, and on and on until they reach the end of the line.
Now what invariably happens to the original message? That’s right. It gets distorted and warped into something entirely new altogether. Look at Creation re-create itself! (Note: “Distorted” doesn’t imply it’s bad, just different and altered.)
Subjective Reality
Why does this distortion happen? It happens because what people perceive is different from what was “actually” being said. In a way, we can say that your personal experience itself is entirely subjective.
“Hold on,” one might say, “it can’t all be entirely subjective. You and I can stand in a field and both look up at the moon at night together and we’ll see the very same moon.”
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When people talk about growing up, taking on life’s challenges, and becoming a “bigger person,” this metaphor of being a “bigger person” has a lot of truth to it.
The phrase stems from the recognition that you have expanded. You can handle bigger problems, more energy, more love, more people, more money, more abundance, more lightness, more darkness, more LIFE.
The size of the problems you can handle in life is directly related to the size of YOU.
Spiritual and personal growth is all about validating and accepting every portion of yourself. Expansion is ultimately the process of inclusion, not exclusion.
Being Aware of Darkness, But Choosing Light
The farther you go into the light, the more aware of the darkness you’re able to become. This doesn’t mean you have to then choose darkness, but you become more aware of the choices you have on both sides and you look at them simply as choices because that’s all they are. You have the power of awareness.
Remember, this physical reality is all about choices. Just because you may become more aware of evil, “negative choices,” or “dark choices” doesn’t mean you have to actually go and experience them. In fact, the more willing you are to become more aware of them without resistance or judgment, the less you need to experience them because you are allowing them to become equally valid to any choice you could make. When they become equally valid to any choice you could make, you are then effortlessly capable of choosing what you prefer without invalidating what you don’t prefer. The inner struggle drops away. Such is the power of acceptance and self-acceptance. This is the true freedom of non-judgment. This is the essence of allowing.
It becomes a recognition that that’s simply not where you live anymore. You live in this new house now, not that old house. It doesn’t mean that your old house is a bad house. It served you well. It brought you to the place where you can now choose this house. So bless it, love it, keep it, own it, but leave it in its place. It’s a place you no longer live, but someone else may still be using that neighborhood and bless them for experiencing those things you have experienced, knowing that they are also going up the ladder in their own way, in their own time. Make it all equal and you will have equal ability to choose anything you wish. Anything at all.
Terrific!
I am very grateful that you are you and that you are being your own guru. You, by being yourself, are offering All That Is another perspective of itself, the experience of diversity, and the gift of variety. Oneness is enhanced, interestingly enough, through the acceptance of and celebration of diversity.
You have your own unique qualities and natural talents. I fully encourage you to develop them and be totally you, not a clone of me.
You see, I have no interest in converting anyone or convincing anyone to agree with my understandings. It is simply my intention to be myself to the fullest extent possible and share with you what I have to give, but it is ALWAYS up to you what you choose what to do with it. I honor the free will that you have and recognize that your life is yours to live and yours alone. There’s a lot of power in honoring people and allowing them to be, without resistance.
My way is not a better way. It is simply another way.
All beliefs are equally valid, since each belief generates its own self-validating reality.
-Bashar
This is not to say that some beliefs are not more in alignment with ultimate reality, love, and light. Not at all. Read More …
I would like to share with you part of an online forum conversation that recently took place, continue the conversation here, and then invite you to share with us your opinions and follow-ups in the comments section below.
Conversation begins:
Kinda funny to see fat people pushing cards with gallon size mayo, 50 pounds of beef, 6 cases of Coke, and a camera on top.
Responses:
Do you think statements like this are appropriate and add value?
So the first person w/o sin cast the first stone…
the implication was that everyone who goes to costco is fat was unnecessary
Response:
Sorry, I didn’t know being fat was politically incorrect or negative in some circles. Here in the islands it’s considered a sign of wealth and prosperity. In Polynesian culture, big big boys are considered “da bomb.” That’s why Hawaiian girls won’t go out with me! And, yes, the folks that shop at Costco Hawaii tend to be bigger and heavier than average. Just like the folks at Ala Moana Shopping Center tend to be shinny and better dressed. It’s just an observation, not a political position. But, yeah, I only weight 135 lbs so folks here think I’m pinching pennies on food. I constantly get asked by coworkers when buying lunch if I need to borrow money! I merely prefer small meals and love working out. Helps me carry around all my heavy gear…
My response:
All the made-up judgments people believe are just that… made-up. They have no basis in actual truth and people get upset over a whole bunch of mental positions. Like arguing over the borders of a country when they don’t actually exist on the earth. We make those up too…
What’s considered attractive today in America are those almost anorexic, tanned teenagers. Not too long ago it was considered attractive for women to be plump and pasty white. Why? It signaled they were wealthy enough to get enough food and that they didn’t have to work out under the sun in the fields like the peasants.
Fat, skinny, blonde, brunette, smart, dumb… whatever. They’re all beautiful in their own way, especially when you start dropping all mental judgments and preconceptions.
Unconditional love baby, it’s a wonderful thing. 
Another response:
For what it’s worth – attractiveness, looks, and other shallow things put aside – being fat is still unhealthy, regardless of whether your culture thinks it looks good, bad, rich, or poor.
Blocked blood vessels and heart disease aren’t “made up”.
Our minds can be a noisy chatterbox from hell. It can keep yapping away and driving us nuts. Is it possible to experience a state of mental silence, the same type of silence we can experience when sitting back in awestruck wonder of a beautiful sunrise? Can we experience the mental stillness of a cool winter morning?
When we’re feeling really stressed out and want to change it, we’re often suggested to sit down and calm our minds and think good thoughts to replace the bad ones. Have a positive outlook. Be an optimist. Look on the bright side.
This can certainly help us replace bad feeling thoughts with good feeling thoughts and change the direction of our life. Absolutely.
However, there are even higher levels of being in the world.
It is possible to experience a lasting sense of inner peace and quietness without having to escape the incessant mind by going to sleep or engaging in various distracting activities.
Is there an effective technique to experience extended periods of mental tranquility?
What does it take to experience a sense of continuous peacefulness within, regardless of what’s happening without?
In order for your mind to quiet, all you have to do, all you ever have to do is to abide, to accept without resistance.
It means to simply allow things to be as they already are.
Completely and totally.
Next time you’re feeling like an emotional wreck, instead of trying to change it or hate the fact that you’re feeling like a miserable wreck, allow yourself to completely and totally experience the experience even though that sounds like the last thing you’d want to do.
What you’ll find is that when you allow your current emotional state to be just as it is, that underneath the emotional turbulence you’ll experience a profound sense of peace, a liberating sense of freedom, and a wide spaciousness around this moment.
Any time you’re not feeling peace, it’s a sign that you’re struggling and not allowing everything be as it is.
This sounds counter-intuitive to the mind, but what you resist persists and what you look at disappears.
As soon as you start to allow things to be just as they are, you’ll start to experience the breathing room around the situation, the peace, the freedom.
What’s awesome is that this sense of peace does NOT depend on the negative emotions actually leaving you or on your external situation actually being fixed. The negative emotions and situation can still be there and still be experienced, but by allowing them to be, you’ll experience a yourself abiding in a greater context that totally allows the emotion to be and without insisting that it leaves.
The cool part is that once you let go of pushing against the negative feelings, you’ll be able to see the situation more clearly and open up to receiving and discovering solutions to your problems that you would have otherwise been too mentally clouded over to realize.
As soon as you allow what is to be as it is, whatever that thing is that was so terrible will actually point right towards your own mental and emotional freedom.
What freedom? Well why not explore the lifestyle of letting go and find out for yourself? 
