Some Common Questions About Meditation

Question:

Dear Ariel,

I have attempted meditation in the past, but for one reason or another was inconsistent in my practice. Recently, I have begun my attempts again with meditation, and the spiritual enlightenment process- but this time I am very serious about it. I am ready to embark on my spiritual journey, and I am in it for the long haul. Strangely enough though, the past week or so I have become even more stressed, which seems to be counter intuitive to what this whole process is about. When I try to meditate I just become frustrated, and when I think about it I feel stressed and fearful. I know that it is directly due to my ego, and the insecurity that initially comes with one stepping outside of their comfort zone. I read your entry about forgetting all truths, and I think that that is one of my biggest problems. I read about “all of this stuff” and subconsciously develop these unrealistic expectations. I am just having so much trouble letting my mind go blank, is it like this for everyone in the beginning? If you could give me some insight, and maybe some advice/tips I would appreciate it so much. I randomly came across your website, but I am very grateful I did. You have really helped me with all of your posts.

Thanks,

J.

My Response:

Hey there J. Awesome questions. What you’re asking about are some super common things that arise so don’t worry, nothing’s gone wrong. You’re on the right track.

Frustration and Stress in Meditation

I am ready to embark on my spiritual journey, and I am in it for the long haul. Strangely enough though, the past week or so I have become even more stressed, which seems to be counter intuitive to what this whole process is about. When I try to meditate I just become frustrated, and when I think about it I feel stressed and fearful. I know that it is directly due to my ego, and the insecurity that initially comes with one stepping outside of their comfort zone.

Yeah, we would hope that when we go into meditation, we’d immediately go into a state of incredible peace and bliss. It turns out though, that there’s a little bit more of a process to it than that, which is exactly what you’re seeing.

It’s very common to begin experiencing emotional roller coasters as you begin meditating. Basically what happens is that when you start looking at that stuff inside that you’ve been avoiding in the past for whatever reason, it comes right up. It’s like the ego knows your buttons and exactly how to push ‘em to get you to quit seeing it for what it is.

As you said, it’s part of stepping outside of your comfort zone. If you can just allow yourself to feel whatever feelings arise in the moment, that’s all that’s necessary. The practice of meditation becomes nothing more than an openness and allowance to experience anything that arises without identification with it.

The more you can surrender to it, the more quickly it will pass.

Expectations

I read about “all of this stuff” and subconsciously develop these unrealistic expectations.

Yeah, even the expectations are products of the mind, ideas that suggest that you should be experiencing something other than what you’re experiencing now. The future should be somehow better or different than what is now. This is just what minds do.

Minds can do amazing things, like even taking spiritual teachings and turning them into more mental gymnastics. Lots of things arise, like these subconscious expectations, that can be consciously let go of once they are recognized for what they are: just more mind stuff.

We continue to go deeper and deeper, layer by layer.

Quieting the Mind

I am just having so much trouble letting my mind go blank, is it like this for everyone in the beginning?

Probably one of THE most common things people experience on the spiritual journey. It’s not just you.

The way you say the words “letting my mind go blank,” it sounds more like the word “letting” should be the word “making.”

This is one of the backwards things. You don’t make the mind go quiet. You simply allow it to be as it is without feeding it your attention and energy. It’s a very peaceful state, nothing to do with struggling to control the mind into submission.

When you don’t invest your energy into your mind’s thoughts and take ‘em all that seriously anymore, you find your thoughts naturally start to subside ON THEIR OWN.

Instead of trying to run away from the mind, distract yourself from the mind, change the mind, control the mind, or any of that stuff, just stop the whole game and be with what is here, now.

It’s really that simple.

Sure it takes some practice and sometimes it’s easier than others. For sure. This is normal. This is part of the process. Just stop anyways.

Thanks for your question!