How To Make Yourself Unenlightened

Category Ego, Enlightenment, Presence

The Black by Marc Adamus

I keep going in and out of awakening, experiencing non-abiding awakenings. It’s like repeatedly being temporarily enlightened, but it doesn’t stick. Fortunately I don’t “fall back” as far every time, so maybe I’m getting a little better at this or something…

What’s most fascinating about this is that through lots of trial and error, I’m getting good at detecting exactly what the differences are between the two states and what the pitfalls are that pull me out of the awakened state.

Here are the 4 key elements I can point to that draw “me” out of awakening, or more accurately recreate a false sense of self:

1) Who Experiences?

Awake, there are experiences somehow happening, but there is no one to whom this is happening. It’s literally like no one’s home.

Thoughts arise, but they are not believed to be any more valid as who you are than anything else you can look at in the world. They’re not even “my” thoughts. They’re just thoughts that arise. Identifying with thought is seen to be as ridiculous as identifying with the paint on the walls. The paint on the walls has nothing to do with who you are… at all! The same with thoughts. Thoughts are just something temporarily popping in to awareness.

Awake, there is no identity. Pure “I am.” Just beingness. Emptiness. Nothingness. No identity at all.

To pull yourself out of enlightenment, believe in your thoughts as if they actually contain any semblance of truth. This then creates something to fill in the blank: “I am ________.” The only place that you can find something to fill in the blank with is in the mind, even if it’s as something generic as “someone who is experiencing this moment.”

As a belief like this arises, energetically, you’ll feel a quite definite sense of contraction, literally like closing down and clasping around a thought. It is this closing down around a thought that creates a sense of self.

From nothingness, thought arises, and a self is born thanks to identification with thought.

2) Clinging and Grasping

Fireman's Pole Clinging Imagine being up on a fireman’s pole.

The unawakened state, the unenlightened or “dream state” as it is often called, is like clamping down onto the pole. You can climb up or slide down or stay in one place, but you’re always holding on tight.

Believing in thought is the equivalent of holding on to the pole.

Awakened, there’s a sense of openness and spaciousness, of not clinging to anything. It’s like letting go of the pole altogether and allowing the body to go where it will, without trying to hold on and control in any way. NO holding on!

Awake, there is no clinging and, oddly enough, no one to cling in the first place. To recreate a sense of self, there must be clinging to thought, an energetic contraction around thought, which thus then creates a sense of “me” who is the experiencer of the world.

3) Attachment to the Experience

Awake, there is the experience of being awake. To the mind, this can be an amazing experience, as I’m sure you might imagine. It’s literally like opening up to a whole new world and the mind is fascinated with this incredible new experience, like a child with a shiny new toy. Ooooohhhh, aaahhhh.

If you watch the mind in your daily life, you’ll notice it’s a commentator. It’s often yakking away so much that instead of paying attention to the experience itself, you are focused on your thoughts about the experience.

In a sense, you’re more interested in your thoughts about the experience than the direct experience itself. This is loss of presence, as Eckhart Tolle calls it.

If the mind starts commenting on the experience of being awake and attention then starts focusing on the description and story about being awake rather than awakeness itself, this starts drawing the self back into the dream state.

Now I, being the excited blogger that I am, (errr, false sense of identity alert!) find this to be an attachment that I definitely need to let go of.

“Oh wow, this is so cool! Let me think of a great metaphor I can use to describe this on my blog. I hope this will help someone. I hope my explanation is an accurate description.”

and BAM! That’s the beginning of the end.

For me, personally, I need to let go of needing to describe and explain everything, as if there was actually in truth in words in the first place. Be okay with the possibility of never ever posting to this blog again. Scary! Let go of the attachment to talking about stuff and simply be.

4) Controlling the Experience

Now, as I begin losing the experience, the sense of self who is commenting on everything begins wanting to control the experience. “Noooo, don’t go. Stay awake!” This only further perpetuates the loss of the awakened state. It’s like grabbing back onto the fireman’s pole.

You literally have no control over your own enlightenment. All you can do is let go. Totally let go. There may be the fear that if you let go, you’ll lose all the ground you’ve gained since you first got into spirituality. Afterall, you’ve probably learned a lot through reading books and performing various spiritual practices. Your own personal will has been helpful up to now in furthering your own conscious evolution.

At this point, however, you MUST LET GO. There’s no way to go any further without letting go. You’ve gone about as far as you can go with your personal will.

As the saying goes, “Let go and let God.” It comes down to complete and total surrender.

It’s not about trying to do surrender, as if it’s some tactic or strategy or practice that a someone can do to get something. No, that’s a subtle way that the ego can come in the back door and try to control things. Do you see the trap?

Instead, you have to just stop trying altogether. Don’t control or manipulate anything. Just be. Allow everything to be as it is. Awake or unawake. Allow it totally. Resist nothing.

It truly can not be taken by force. It’s not anything that can be accomplished through effort. Effort may get you close, but to walk through the door, you must relinquish all effort whatsoever.

In the same way as you just kind of “fall asleep,” you also just kind of “fall awake.”

No attachments. No control. No trying. No holding on. No resistance. No pushing or pulling. No nothing.

Just be.

Continued Discussion | 4 Forum Comments

_______________________________________________________________________________________

If you enjoyed this article, subscribe to updates via RSS, Twitter or email to receive fresh content free of charge.

This site is supported by your generous donations. If this site has provided you with value, consider donating as a way of expressing your appreciation. =)

17 Responses to “How To Make Yourself Unenlightened”

Dan Massicotte said:

Reminds me of these dreams I have every month or so, where I can do some super power…when I wake up I usually feel invigorated, but it doesn’t last.

Dan Massicottes last blog post..How To Interpret The Media In a More Positive Way
vvwalzbe said:

It’s really hard not to get frustrated with yourself at reaching a more consistant state of enlightened or being a awake and then always bouncing back to a more closed off state. But like you mentioned with me and some of my fear- just let it be and enjoy it for what it is.

If we were suddenly fully enlightened we might not enjoy it as much as we do with the (sometimes too constant) justaposition (spelling?). I’ve come to see it as more of just a process you have to go through. Give yourself credit for being aware more and more, take it for what it is, and just enjoy the ride! Or at least this is what I’m striving to do haha

-Vince
Jen Boda said:

Seems like maybe it is a question that we don’t have to really ask ourselves (we love to self analyze here in the west) but something that we can maybe strive to do outside the egos determination to win. Just live the experience without necessarily having it be anything.

jh
http://www.bodaweightloss.com
Anne Partain said:

Hello, I too am allowing myself to enjoy everything. I like what you say about staying awake. It is nice to hear from others who are on the same path. Good stuff, I’ll come back for another serving.

Anne Partains last blog post..Who Am I?
Ray said:

What a beautiful picture at the beginning of this post. This may sound silly, but who is the speaker in the video’s?

Thanks for popping by and writing the great post for the carnival Ariel. I’m looking forward to seeing your next contribution!

Rays last blog post..Law Of Attraction Posts

Ariel Bravy Reply:
February 11th, 2009 at 12:12 am
ah yeah, I forgot to identify who the speaker is in the videos. It’s Gangaji, one of my favorite enlightenment teachers.
Ray said:

Cool beans. Thanks Ariel. Someone new now to check into :-) Cheers!

Rays last blog post..Law Of Attraction Posts
adidacausal said:

I would add the question “am I an addict” to this list, you may feel yourself to be an advanced being but if you live an undisciplined life, there may be little else, but BS going on. Discipline takes it passed mind only, so to speak into “reality” with a small “r”, it does require what is traditionally called sadhana or practice, thinking and wishing it, don’t cut it in the end, feel free to disagree ! Good read by the way

adidacausals last blog post..The Vital Center & Vital Shock

Ariel Bravy Reply:
February 11th, 2009 at 6:07 am
haha, great point! You’re so on the money about addictions and discipline, adidacausal! Thank you!
~ Julie said:

Hi Ariel,

Great words once again! I ‘think’ perhaps you are inspired to write and will do so from the awakened state more and more as you continue to do as you’ve described above and let it flow through you and release any attempt to control the direction of the writing.

I have found this with singing. I talk as little as possible when I am in the state, and write very little as well (words just seem too trivial to convey what I am experiencing), but I can sing and stay there for ages and the singing moves me, and I know it comes from beyond me. It doesn’t create an ego reaction which says ‘I’m a great singer’. I feel blessed to have an opportunity to feel my own divinity flowing through me as song.

That is how I view your writing (it’s my view and I like it!).
Either you are incredibly adept at identifying these aspects of the awakening experience, or you are experiencing them in a way that makes it so clear for you. I read your words and they fit my experience, however, mine has been so subtle and gentle, and yet still very profound, that I would not be able to write about it in the way that you have. It is your gift, to yourself and to the world!
You are truly Loved and truly blessed!
~ Julie
On Common Ground said:

Let go of the experience of what you perceive to be as an “enlightened” state and you will realize that “enlightenment” or even “being awake” is not an experience that you can either gain or lose. It is already your perfect and whole state of being that is within you. You can create, maintain or acheive soemthing that already IS. Your AWARENESS of what IS is regained through the work/practice that you are doing. But there is not going TO or come FROM the awakened or enlightened state.

The false self (ego), which is very, very real to most walking on this planet at present, always wants to attach to this eperience and claim it as something that needs to be labeled. I.E…

“I am enlightened.”
“I am not enlightened.”
“I am spiritual.”
“I am not as spiritual as…”
“I am human.”
“I am spirit in human form.”
“I am nothing.”
“I am everything.”

Many active seekers in the realm of self-knowing and understanding use all or some of those statements to describe the state of being/living within an “awakened” state at some point in their self-realization process. However, the “danger” here, like in all areas of life, is to ATTACH too much if ANY logical or tangeble meaning to even these concepts. They are just words to try to describe a state that is near impossible to describe to someone who has not seen it within themselves just quite yet. Trying to attach meaning, explanation, logic, or any of the like to them is akin trying to tie a string around air. Go ahead… try it.

You’re right… let go and let it flow. But you DO have more control than you might be aware of right now… through that letting go. One can not create with actively being in co-ntrol… with Source. This is essential to the element of choice when it comes to the “waking up” process or choosing to remain asleep/unconscious (not our natural state of being).

And letting go easy for many well-seasoned practioners, or the simply gifted sage, in the quiet space of a meditation room, in the woods, or on a rock somewhere. But do it in the middle of your everyday life… in traffic, in the office, in the grocery store, at the gym, with your friends and family, etc… and you will find that “being awake” or as you put it “staying enlightened” has nothing to do with the action of coming or going.

It is pure presence, absolute joy and acceptance, fun and truly interesting. It is LIFE being fully expressed. It is where one realizes and operates from the understanding than “THE ILLUSION” is only anything that is opposite of Love, Compassion and Creative expression. This is the space where God resides in the very, very REAL and physical world, or a time being, through and expressedly THROUGH you (also God) for no other purpose than to Live, Love, Learn and Expand.

for what it is worth…,

Roldan

On Common Grounds last blog post..The Transparent Unkown

Ariel Bravy Reply:
February 11th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
Fantastic Roldan! So awesome.

Your point about there not truly being any experience gained or lost is so true. It’s about what is ALWAYS here, no matter what. That’s sooooo key. Thank you very much for that reminder and bringing it back to my attention.

On Common Ground Reply:
February 11th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
Namaste, Ariel. You are doing well though. Keep exploring. Just remember, the pendulum swings both ways until is settles in the middle… quietly, happily, peacefully in the middle. Keep going. =)

Oh, btw… aside from a few typos in my response up there, I want to correct the statement,

“One can not create WITHOUT actively being in co-ntrol… with Source.” …

Slight difference in meaning. That’s all. Thanks!

On Common Grounds last blog post..The Transparent Unkown

vvwalzbe Reply:
February 14th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
Very awesome, thanks!!
Chris Edgar | Purpose Power Coaching said:

Thanks for this post. I definitely find that when I have an experience of opening, starting to wonder “what caused this experience?” or “what exactly is happening?” or “how do I do it again?” will immediately pull me out of it.

Chris Edgar | Purpose Power Coachings last blog post..Inner Productivity, Part Four: Some Exercises For Self-Listening
Psiplex said:

There is so much to just ‘being’. The universe seems to align and walk arm in arm when we are truly ourselves. Thank you for the post!

One Love

Psiplexs last blog post..PinC Bubble
Got Enlightenment? « On Common Ground said:

[...] February 13, 2009 by Roldan Smith Written by Roldan Smith in response to a post a friend’s post, “How to Make Yourself Unenlightened“ [...]