Defending Yourself When Being Attacked

So today I had the opportunity to experience what it’s like to be cast as the role of villain and to have a bunch of people get angry at me, something I haven’t experienced in quite some time now. Although it certainly wasn’t a pleasant experience, I learned a lot from it and would like to use it as a springboard to talk about how to respond when you are on the receiving end of attack, insult, and abuse.

Whether we’re talking about something big like a terrorist threatening to blow your head off or something small like someone casting you a disapproving look, let’s explore what we can do as conscious beings when we find ourselves in a situation where we are being attacked.

First let’s hear what Osho has to say:

Whenever someone comes to fight you, absorb him;
When someone insults you, absorb him and see — his insult becomes a flower.
He is releasing energy. When someone insults you, he is giving away energy.
He is foolish, stupid, so you absorb his energy, thank him, and go back and see what happens. When someone is ready to fight, simply allow him.
Be as if you are not there and he is fighting an emptiness.
Allow him, don’t resist, and you will come to know.
There is no other way; just listening to me will not do.
This is an art, it is not a science. Science can be explained, art has to be experienced.

-OSHO

Next let’s look to the Bible and hear what Jesus’ take on the matter is:

You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

-Matthew 5:38-42

One thing that we can see that all of these beings have in common is that they don’t fight back. They don’t judge the other person. It’s almost like they are standing open in a state of transparency, where nothing can truly hit them. They may certainly be struck physically, yes, but even that doesn’t get to them in their heart.

From Non-resistance to Non-violent Resistance

Now people often use statements like these to justify pacifism, saying that war is never the answer and that if you sit back loving people all day, all abuse will stop some day.

One good point that’s brought up in the book series Conversations with God is that allowing an abuser to continue to abuse another is beneficial for neither the abuser nor the one who is abused, for that teaches the abuser that such behavior is acceptable. What’s suggested instead is to do what’s best for yourself for in so doing, you will automatically be doing what is in the best interest of the all, for you actually ARE the all.

This is discussed in Book 1, page 132, for those of you who own a copy of the book.

Treating others with love does not necessarily mean allowing others do what they wish.

Parents learn this early with children. Adults are not so quick to learn it with other adults, nor nation with nation.

Yet despots cannot be allowed to flourish, but must be stopped in their despotism. Love of Self, and love of the despot, demands it.

-Conversations with God

When we hear about the idea of non-resistance, that may conjure up the idea of being a punching bag and getting your head kicked in.

Nonviolence is an intensely active force when properly understood and used.

-Gandhi

Here’s a clip from the film Gandhi where he speaks in front of a crowd and discusses this in more detail:

What’s advocated here is not some submissive acceptance of what happens, but what MLK Jr. termed non-violent resistance.

Non-violent resistance is not for cowards. It is not a quiet, passive acceptance of evil. One is passive and non-violent physically, but very active spiritually, always seeking ways to persuade the opponent of advantages to the way of love, cooperation, and peace.

The non-violent resister accepts suffering without retaliating; accepts violence, but never commits it.

In non-violent resistance, one learns to avoid physical violence toward others and also learns to love the opponents with “agape” or unconditional love–which is love given not for what one will receive in return, but for the sake of love alone. It is God flowing through the human heart.

-Martin Luther King, Jr.

Love is not weak. Love is POWERFUL!

Now I know that advocating resistance in any way may make some spiritual ears recoil, and that’s okay. In many minds there may be a belief system set up that says “resistance = BAD!”

Think of this form of resistance as a way of cultivating one’s inner power in the name of what one believes. Love isn’t just the stereotypical new agey smiley happy gooey Love. That is one expression of it, sure, but Love can also be expressed with extreme intensity, such as a mother diving into traffic to pull her child back into safety. Love is NOT always some passive thing saying, “Oh, that doesn’t sound like such a good idea. Let’s talk about this and see if we can come up with an agreement here without arguing or raising our voices.”

Many spiritual people shut down their inner power in the name of ego transcendence. I’ve been there and done that.

The ego looooves the solar plexus chakra and to be a powerful force in the world, but that inner spirit can also be used by the heart to powerfully express Love in the world.

Speaking of standing up for what one believes, let’s take a look at this from a Law of Attraction standpoint by listening to what Abraham has to say on the topic of terrorism in the world:

The key is recognizing the intense contrast that is born from these experiences and focusing our attention upon the desires for peace, well-being, and understanding that are born out of these events.

What’s Your Take on the Issue?

What does the wisdom within you guys have to say?

When people have attacked you in some way, how have you responded and how effective was your response in creating the desired outcome?