So I’ve been on the road about 5 weeks now, driven over 4600 miles, and have been living life in experimentation mode by applying various principles I’ve come to know and seeing how well they really work in this whole “real life” thing. I’ve made amazing friends partying at Mardi Gras, photographed a cheer and dance competition in Texas, skied in New Mexico, camped along the Rio Grande, hiked down into the Grand Canyon, had an ostrich bite my camera, been homeless in Colorado, discovered how every state has is very own distinct vibe, experienced the most ridiculous and consistent degrees of synchronicity, met amazing friends all over the country, had the universe repeatedly bring me all that I want including exactly the type of weather I want when I want it, been given free food and lodging all over the country… Quite honestly this is the most exciting and simultaneously the most terrifying thing I’ve ever done.

I’m learning SO much. There’s lots of things I’m learning that I didn’t know before and many things that I’m finally actually GETTING. To use an analogy, let’s say you’ve done martial arts for a while and your instructor keeps telling you, “Hands up! Keep your hands up!” and so you know that your hands need to be up but when you’re practicing, your hands subconsciously keep coming down. It isn’t until you actually spar against an opponent and get clocked in the head that you finally GET IT that your hands need to be UP!  This is a lot like that. As is often said, life is our greatest teacher… There’s a lot of things that I “knew” didn’t work, and if you were to ask me before, I’d tell you that no, such-and-such doesn’t work. If you asked me now, I’d be like “nah dude, really, that shit DOES NOT WORK!!” It’s that transition from mental understanding to gut-level understanding.

This has also been a very emotional experience in that it’s forcing me to really look at myself. I’m basically free to go where I want and do what I want (within reason… a 4 wheel drive or all wheel drive vehicle would be super handy for going up into the snowy mountain peaks and camping in the backcountry, for example, buy I digress…). One thing I wanted from this trip was to really shed light onto the remaining unconscious portions of myself. See, I remember Adyashanti talking about when his awakenings first started, and they also began in the nonabiding form as I am experiencing, when he was going through his process he’d sit down in a coffee shop for hours writing and writing about his beliefs and exploring any area within him that would still go into division. This has been a big part of my journey here. It’s really taking what I’ve learned and applying it all. Jump in with both feet and apply the law of attraction, for example. Apply the ability to surrender and let go when your ego gets bruised and you face your inner darkness head on. Do all the stuff you need to do because now it really matters. It’s crunch time and the pressure’s on.

Freedom of Experience

To what degree do I want to experience freedom? I’ve thrown up a tent and camped in state parks and enjoyed being out in nature. I’ve slept in my car and enjoyed waking up in new places and not having to tear down a tent in the cold mornings. I’ve stayed in hotels and loved the big comfy bed and the little kitchenettes that allow me to cook. I’ve stayed on friends’ futons and enjoyed the free lodging and social life. What is the most harmonious expression of freedom that I’d like to experience? Let’s go out and try a lot of different things and see what they’re like!

Now I’m looking for a more permanent home to throw down some roots. It seems that this country really caters to those with a home and address. Where do I want to live? I can live in Denver, a big city with lots of different regions all over. I can live in Boulder which is a smaller town with a great spiritual vibe and amazing outdoorsy people. I can live up in a small mountain town like Nederland which gets a lot more snow and has more unplowed roads. Heck, I can even go live in a tipi on a sustainable farm! So many options! What do I want? What does my heart say?

Go dive into the unknown and follow that intuition… Let’s see where it takes me.

Spontaneity vs. Planning

What degree of structure do I want in my life? What works best? What feels best? What is most enjoyable? You can try going out somewhere in the world where you literally have NOTHING that you need to do. No plans. No nothing. Just show up and here you are. Where does your intuition lead you next? Completely and utterly spontaneous, allowing synchronicity to be everything.

Do you want a full schedule with lots of things to do and times to be at certain places?

Do you want to be generally open with only a few things scheduled to give your life some sense of  structure and direction while simultaneously being open to change direction on a dime?

I’m finding the last option to be most enjoyable for me. Complete and utter no plans doesn’t feel so good. I like having a next step to head towards in life and a few things on my to-do list. I like having an overall purpose for my life within which I allow the flow to occur. What do you like?

This is something that has been really valuable, to really let go and actually try out lots of different ways of being in the world and find what feels and works best for YOU. This is probably something that each person needs to find out for themselves…

Intuition

Intuition is SO bang on. It’s been my go-to option whenever it comes down to make a decision. Virtually every decision now is simply a matter of asking my intuition. What does this feel like? How does that option feel? Eventually you really start to develop the ability to discern between the feelings of expansiveness, openness, joy, excitement, and subtleness that usually comes with the intuition’s yes versus the sense of closure, downness, no, stopping, almost shut down that comes with the intuition’s no. Honestly one of the main challenges is getting the mind to align with the intuition. That’s really where the main challenge seems to lie, in getting the mind with all its logic and reasoning to surrender to a simple feeling that doesn’t explain itself.

Law of Attraction

The Law of Attraction really works. I mean it REALLY works. I experience so consistently whatever it is that I most strongly think and believe deep down. It’s SO clear…

You are the light, mind is the prism, the world is your rainbow.
-Ash Ruiz

One thing I found amusing was to over and over hear people say “but this never happens!” It’s like everywhere I’d go, restaurants would hand me free food and beer, the weather would be perfect and just as I’d asked, things would just work out for me, and I’d just smile knowing that this has all been created within me and is being experienced due to my own inner alignment. At the same time, I only experience it to the degree that the alignment with inner being is maintained. It’s like a direct 1:1 relationship. Alignment with inner being, loving what is, non-resistance to the present moment, being in the vortex, being in a state of allowing, flowing the energy of Source through you, whatever you wanna call it… this one singular thing is what leads to the unfoldment of all that I desire in ways that are more amazing that I could have ever imagined had I been trying to micromanage or control any of this. It’s like having full creative power of choosing my vibrational state of being and simultaneously having no control over the physical world. The more I surrender control of the world and focus on inner alignment, the more the apparently outer world shows up in ways that reflect my inner alignment. This is really what the LoA is all about.

Happiness

This has been a pretty hard-hitting one for me. I really thought on some level that going out and jumping in to what I perceived to be a life of freedom and travel would bring happiness. It was subtle, but it was definitely here. This has been one false notion that’s been crashing down the past few days, and it’s been a tough pill to swallow. How many times have I thought that going out and “living the life of my dreams” would be what I was looking for? Wasn’t that what life was supposed to be about? It’s the idea that a certain lifestyle = happiness. Nope. Being out here in Colorado doesn’t make me happy. Heck, even manifesting all the stuff that I want doesn’t make me happy. Experiencing synchronicity and being in the flow itself doesn’t make me happy. It really doesn’t. I’m finding I keep placing conditions on my happiness and joy, as if something in life needs to be a certain way so that I can experience happiness and so I go about trying to structure my life a certain way. I keep placing these conditions on myself and finding that they keep come crashing down. They don’t work.

What I keep coming to find is that happiness DOES NOT lie outside of myself, as cliche as that may be. Happiness isn’t found in being loved. It isn’t found in living a certain lifestyle. It isn’t found in finally getting something you’ve always wanted. It doesn’t lie in mastery of a certain skill or achievement in a particular ability, including manifesting everything you want. Not at all…

The way it seems that it works is that happiness is found within, as if we ARE it. Literally. We find that we ARE it when we quit looking to FIND it. This inner being that is along for the journey every step of the way, this awareness that is ALWAYS present no matter how epic or traumatic the experience of life is, this presence that is always always always here, it’s so easy to get distracted from that and get lost in thought or lost in the world or lost in experiences, and yet this beingness is always here. When there’s a turning within, Love is found here. Joy is found here. Happiness is found here. Peace is found here.  Well-being is found here. It doesn’t matter where in the world I am or what is happening around me. It’s like this ground of being is becoming my home, silence is becoming my home, even if I don’t have a physical place to call home.

I wanted to write a book about the Law of Attraction, put together a workshop, collect videos that were especially helpful and so on, and yet what I’m starting to find is that mastery of manifesting DOES NOT BRING HAPPINESS. If I ever do come out with a product on the LoA, manifesting is going to be seen as sooooo secondary to being joyous, to being joy itself.

Byron Katie

The other day I was listening to Byron Katie and she said a number of things that completely blew me away…

Her whole thing is about questioning your thoughts and no longer believing in thought whatsoever, thereby ending your suffering. Her process to help us accomplish this she calls The Work and it’s repeatedly proving itself to be so effective and powerful…

She says that all suffering is a result of believing in thought. Period.  She mentioned that one thing she loves about life is that when someone else experiences pain, she doesn’t. When she experiences pain, the other doesn’t. We *think* that we suffer because of what another says or does, but the reality is we suffer because we believe thoughts that arise within us about what another said or did. If we didn’t believe any of our thoughts, experiences would simply happen and we wouldn’t suffer as a result of them. When you no longer believe in your thoughts, you are in heaven. When asked if she still feels like she’s in heaven even when bad things happen to her, she said she no longer perceives them as bad because she’s done the inquiry and doesn’t believe the thoughts that arise that suggest something is bad. She then went so far as to suggest that what if you went to heaven and took all your current thoughts with you. Would you then even experience heaven at all? The thing is you wouldn’t, and this is the condition most people are in. We all are in heaven right now, and yet we don’t experience it because we believe in our thoughts.

This is something that Adya has mentioned before as well, that he has literally lost the ability to believe in his own thoughts… I’ve wondered how this plays out in terms of the LoA which says that what you believe you experience… The two perspectives kinda seem at odds and this is a paradox that I have still only partially resolved for myself.

In any event, questioning my own thoughts repeatedly is bringing SO much valuable insight to me, so much clarity, and so much understanding. It’s a very useful technique…

So What Now?

There is SO much I don’t know. Everytime I think I know something, life gently and lovingly shows me how completely utterly wrong I am. There’s just so much more surrender to experience, a continual opening up to even deeper love (especially the scarier places), finding more areas of darkness and bringing the light into them, being happy and joyous for its own sake without any reason necessary, letting go of those fears and resistances and doubts and worries, and really just BEING. Being, loving, enjoying, surrendering…

Really I don’t know anything. Geez…

All I know is that here I am, sitting in a coffee shop, reflecting on the past few weeks of… good god… I don’t know how to describe it…

Whew… So yeah… If you’ve made it this far along and enjoyed what was shared, If you wanna read more from a wandering guy who has no idea what he’s doing half the time  :lol  feel free to donate some cash and help me pay for food and gas. It’s certainly appreciated!

Until next time, happy living!!

-Ariel

Some of you may have noticed that this website was down quite a bit over the past 24 hours. It turns out that my hosting company was doing some emergency repairs on the servers and this knocked everything out of whack. I’d contacted them from my hotel room in Utah to see what was up and they had told me that it looked like my account had been hacked, all my websites that I’ve been running for years (including this one) were completely wiped out, and there were no backups available. That was it. It was all gone.

How would you react to hearing such a thing?

What I found most interesting in my response was seeing that my emotional state didn’t really change and I experienced a sense of lightness and freedom in it. Now it’s gone, so what? Time to go out and hike! With respect to the loss, it was a fun process all along and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Recognizing that it was all gone, now I’m even more free to simply enjoy my life experience and realizations without having to get them written down. I can just experience the moment more purely. Sure the loss knocked out several of my sources of income, but the universe always provides more and I’m eager to see what will come next for me. I can always rebuild, fresh and anew.

A few hours later, they finished their repairs and it turns out that I wasn’t hacked afterall. It was just part of the changes they were making and everything had been restored. Well cool! Here we are, back in business.

Realizing Freedom Through Loss

It isn’t until we lose something that we really get to see just how attached or not we really were to it. We get to see to what degree we depended upon that thing for our sense of joy, well-being, happiness, or whatever else. This applies to things, people, identities, and so on. Very often we may think we’re not attached or we’re not sure if we are, but it’s only when it actually falls away that we get to find out for sure.

When you can lose everything, need nothing, and yet still enjoy what is present here and now in this moment, you’re free.

This awakening process seems to include a lot of different experiences and stages and fluctuations, many of which I don’t expect or even plan. One such thing is that I’m losing the desire to debate things with people or even explain what things are like. Its value seems to be quite limited. There’s more value in being the space for awakeness than in trying to do something to help “make it” happen, as if that was even possible.

I used to think that if I could illustrate things well enough to people, it would encourage them to quit seeking the illustrations by satisfying that search, but that desire can’t be satisfied through explanation.

With respect to words, it seems that they are of most value when they help cut through the mind, to help stop its unconscious patterns in its tracks so that Truth can be seen. I don’t mean that thought needs to stop altogether, but there is conditioning of the mind that most of us are completely oblivious to. It is by cutting through our unconscious conditioning that the veil it creates falls away.

Discussing Reality

When someone sees the Truth, sharing about our mutual experiences is a total blast. We can sit and speak for hours and hours on end, just sharing about our different perspectives of the One and what all has been experienced thus far along the way, and we both seem to grow and expand through this process.

When someone wants to come up and debate or argue about spirituality with me even the slightest, I feel my desire to take part in that discussion completely washing away. It’s like the desire to engage in that energy whatsoever is being flushed out. I can see that in arguing, they’re looking to strengthen their ideas and beliefs about spirituality, not actually see the Truth. It’s a subtle but critical distinction and is the basis for that classic story about “How can your teapcup be filled with something new if it is already full of old ideas?”

When someone asks what awakening is like, in this moment I’d rather simply tell them to listen to the silence than focus upon whatever words I could say. I can’t possibly explain awakening to anyone. Heck, even if I could, it still wouldn’t be sufficient! Silence is far more instructive, despite the appearance of there being “nothing there” in silence. The guru is within and it is always available.

The Wearing Out of Mental Dominance

Now I know this isn’t satisfying to the mind. It’s really not. It’s why we’re told to “be still” or “listen to the silence” or “focus on the I Am” and yet we continue asking, seeking, reading, and wanting to know. We want that which satisfies the mind, not that which will actually take us beyond it. I know… it’s a dilemma that so many of us face. It’s almost like the mind comes with some built-in programming that says “What you want is outside of you.” This is very normal. We want what satisfies the mind at first, at least until we get a lot of mental satisfaction and we discover for ourselves that that alone simply is not satisfying.

It seems that this desire for mental satisfaction has to eventually wear itself out, and life is wonderful in helping us come to this space. I remember Adyashanti once making a crack about telling people to run and run towards the Truth, as if what they’re seeking is right around the next corner.

When the seeker exhausts itself and the energy of seeking collapses, what is already HERE is revealed to be the golden nugget.

The Truth is what you are, not something other than you to be found.

The Truth… I didn’t find it and neither will you.

The other day I had a wonderful conversation with a guy who’d contacted me through my blog. It’ s so funny how frequently this sort of dialog arises so I’d like to share it with you guys here. Our conversation in a nutshell was like this:

Reader Question:

Dear Ariel, I have no idea what is happening to me, but all I can say is that now it feels like I’m awake. It literally feels like my whole life has been a dream and all along I had no idea that it was a dream. Now I am awake.

I used to be very materialistic and now none of that seems to matter. Now I want to know the Truth about life. I used to be really into religion but there was so much that felt off about it that it lead to a lot of struggle for me and internal conflict. Now I can look back at the scriptures and see that they’re simply about love. Anyways, there has been this big shift inside me and I’m really confused. What do I do now?

My Response:

Nothing! There’s nothing that you need to do. Really.

This initial awakening that you experienced happened on its own with your personal involvement, did it not? The rest of the process is like this too. The more you get in the way and try to make it happen, speed it up, get it right, or whatever else, the more you simply just impede the progress. This is about surrendering and allowing, not making something happen. Surrender is the name of the game here.

You see, there is something much deeper at work here than the limited mind/body individual we see on the surface. There’s much more happening behind the scenes. IT is what does the work, not the individual who apparently does stuff in this physical reality. In the same way that the first awakening simply happened without you having to deliberately make it happen, the rest of the process will unfold for you just the same. Your job, if there is one, is simply to sit back and allow it to happen.

You’ve studied religion in the past and been told what to believe. People say things like “I believe in God” or “I believe in a higher power.” This is a statement that would arise from someone who has not yet had the internal realization of what God IS, or more accurately who THEY are. It’s what they think or what they believe, not what they clearly and unequivocally KNOW. This isn’t bad or wrong. Just recognize that it is yet another stage in the path, a valid and often necessary path. Yet what we’re talking about here is not adopting another belief system, or even about being told of another belief system that should or shouldn’t be adopted. What’s being suggested is to continue to allow the inner being that is already at work here to shift the totality of YOU on its own. We all have this capacity for wisdom and knowing within, without having to be told the answers by religions, gurus, or teachers. This inner wisdom is what the world’s great teachers have all come to access. As you have found, when you’re simply told some answers (regardless of whether or not they’re correct), they’re simply not satisfying. Not in the end. Not really.

What you are looking for is within and it is up to you to turn within and find it here. There’s nothing here you have to do. It’s already in progress and all is unfolding beautifully. Simply just relax and allow the process to unfold. Go about your life, do your things, and notice what is arising. Just be in the moment. Everything that needs to happen is happening at just the right time, without you having to do anything at all. Just relax and all the continued awakenings, realizations, understandings, dissolvings, shifts, and so on will happen at their own rate.

Validating All That Is

As I look out into this world, I see a number of things happening:

• People are awakening to recognize the underlying interconnectedness and unity of life.
• People are becoming more energetically sensitive to the emotions of others and intuitively aware of one another. Thus it’s becoming easier to “read people.” Our thoughts and energies are not as private as we may think.
• People often find themselves experiencing similar sorts of experiences as others, as if we’re all on the same page and going through many of the same experiences.
• With the advent of sites like facebook and twitter, not to mention the internet itself, information is becoming much more public and available.
• There is a call for greater transparency in our governments and corporations so that any shady stuff has to come to light.
• The more we awaken, quite literally the harder it is to lie. It’s as if we experience a physical contraction of energy, like we have to make our energy more dense in order to lie, and this is very unpleasant. It just feels off… way off.

As we become lighter and lighter, we begin experiencing our bodies as less physical and more as pure light. Quite literally. It’s really cool… It’s as if we actually have light bodies, as if the physical becomes more and more clearly just light appearing as clumps of physicalized matter.

In this light, you find some energies happen to be compatible while others are not. Energies that vibrate in harmony with light include those that are open and pure, honest and real. The energy of lies and deception simply has no place in the light.

Truth, Joy, Love and Light. That’s it.

If People Told the Truth…

Imagine a world where people tell each other “The Truth, The Whole Truth, And Nothing But The Truth” at all times. There’s even a book called Radical Honesty which talks about living a life of being absolutely and utterly honest.

Oh also, check out this movie trailer of the recently released movie called “The Invention of Lying.”

The point of the movie isn’t quite the same as what this post is getting across, but it does illustrated many of our fears about people being honest. As people heal their energies in “real life” and step into the light, what would that be like? Well a few examples include:

• People would be honest and upfront, yet not avoid the truth in order to dance around someone’s ego.
• People’s egos would get pinged as they hear others saying things that they don’t want to hear, certainly. Yet the more they’re willing to be honest with themselves (which is the real key here) about these issues that are coming up and thus facing them directly with awareness, the more they’d be able to finally heal those dark energies within (after who knows how many lifetimes) and progress even more towards the light, snowballing the process.
• As people step more into the light, they’ll be able to speak their truths more kindly and lovingly. The truth doesn’t have to be a harsh finger-pointing thing. It can be a very loving and healing energy when harnessed from a place of love and light, such as being a way for people to express what they’re grateful for and what they love about themselves and others.
• The more people heal themselves, the more incompatible energies such as child slave labor, the poisoning of our food, and so on would come to light and people could respond from a place of actually knowing what’s up, not from a limited perspective of not knowing what’s really going on and being fed propaganda instead. Now people can make new choices about who they choose to be and what they accept in the world from a place of light rather than from a place of fear.
• The legal system would radically shift (if it would even still be necessary in some form) as people would actually be honest when asked a question.
• People would learn to stop blaming one another for what happens to them in life and realize that they are responsible for creating their realities. The more you step into the light, the more the laws of the universe such as the law of attraction and the unity of all life become intuitively clear. From this place of expanded awareness, even greater change could occur in the lives of these people.

What exactly all the changes would be, no one really knows for sure. I’m sure you can come up with many excellent ideas as well. One thing that is being seen at this point is that there is more and more light coming onto this planet through us. More light means more of that which hides in the shadows being revealed. We may see scary things in the process, but this actually contributes to our healing, especially as we choose to stay in the light even in life’s scary moments.

Enjoying the Transparent Life

As we become more light, there is a call for greater transparency. Be real. Be honest. Be sincere. Be authentic. Let go. Let it flow. Relax. Play. Lighten up. Have fun. Enjoy yourself. Take it easy. Be passionate. Be creative. Live the life of your dreams.

Union by Mario Duguay

There’s an old saying that the only thing permanent is impermanence. Our life experience is one of learning better ways to interact with this changing flow.

And yet simultaneously there is this eternal unchanging presence. It seems to be part of neither existence nor nonexistence… It is a manifestation of nothing. It is unmanifest. It is. All that can really be said is that it is. We can go within and tap into this and find that when resting in this place, it’s as if we are home, and I mean really home. In this place there is no longing for anything more, no need to get anything, and truly no sense of lack. There is no separation for there is nothing else to be separate from. All else is just appearance, and yet the appearance is not other than this. In this pure being, all is divinely perfect just as it is, including the appearance of problems and pain, and yet it doesn’t invalidate the negative aspects of Allness. To simply be is itself already completely sufficient. Nothing more is needed.

In this space there is no anxious need for a particular outcome, as if one outcome would somehow lead to more fulfillment than another. It’s interesting… when we release our attachment to the outcome, we find this place of perfect peace that is what it is, independent of outcome. It is a space beyond the mind, transcendent and yet completely grounded, particularly when the lower chakras are open and balanced. It’s as if the physical body is being used as a vessel to bring the peace of heaven down to earth. This peace is expressed through a mind/body organism.

The Experiences

No experience is permanent, nor need it be. There is a place for peace, a place for passion, and even a place for war. Granted the energy of war doesn’t exist in this spaceless space, but that energy does have a place in lower realms of time and space. In this peace there is an openness to all experience, a spaciousness that welcomes every event untouched and undistorted. There is no fear of “losing this experience” because it’s not about the clinging to any one particular experience, but the seeing of what lies beyond all experience and supports every experience, noticing every experience and allowing it all to flow.

I understand that one may think that the experience of openness to all experience is just another experience, and yes this is a valid perspective, but that to which I am pointing is a non-experience that can be experienced. It’s hard to put into words exactly. Rather than try to explain it, I’d rather just point to this previous posting about traps that can lead back to separation. Rather than saying “avoid this trap,” I am simply saying that it is helpful to be aware of it. One way or another, when the time is right it will come into awareness. Life experience is a wonderful teacher and I think it’s something that people need to experience for themselves. Falling for the trap is totally fine. It’s happened here several times. That contrast and repeated opportunity to fall for the trap yet again or see beyond it really helps with our conscious evolution. Learning by trial and error.

There is an opening and closing that is possible. When the fear arises, “I hope I don’t lose this experience,” that feeling when followed by focused attention and then concern immediately begins a closing experience, but when both the fear and the experience of opening/closing are seen to be happening within this non-thing, it’s as if the spaciousness becomes seen to an even greater extent. The attempt to force this opening also begins the closing, but the recognition of the forcing as again an experience arising within this automatically creates the experience of reopening. It’s like one must allow the experience to be present exactly as it is without getting sucked into the experience or trying to manipulate it any way in order for the experience to continue. It’s an interesting paradox. You can have it so long as you don’t grasp at it. Simply observe and enjoy, but don’t get caught up in it. In a sense, it’s almost like it has its own wisdom and for it to open, it requires us to let go of trying to control it so that it can take over on its own.

Some say that wise people learn from the mistakes of others, and this is valid to a certain extent. Taken to an extreme, however, one would simply study all day without actually experiencing life for themselves. No judgement as this is one of the infinite number of ways that All That Is has of experiencing itself, and all ways are equally valid, yet life is here to be experienced to whatever degree that we so choose. As with many things in life, to really *get it*, theory just ain’t enough.

The Doer

Surrendering happens, but there is no one to surrender. The dissolution of the surrenderer happens and it seems that only in retrospect was the surrenderer dissolved. No one did it. It just kinda dissolved on its own, but there wasn’t actually a surrenderer here in the first place, only the appearance of one and the experience in one. The nonexistence of the surrenderer, however, does not invalidate surrendering itself. Surrender continues to be, regardless of whether or not there is someone here to do the surrendering.

There is the surrenderer, the thinker, the breather, the creator, the doer, and so on and so forth… all identities that dualisically set themselves apart from the action they perform. The seeing beyond duality requires not the cessation of certain actions, but the seeing beyond the one who would do the actions. Hence the relevance of Self-inquiry.

OM

OM makes sense suddenly. I’ve seen people use this word before and wondered why. Now it feels like it is the primordial voice of God, like the first physicalized manifestation of Silence. OM is powerful and very enjoyable. Aum is fine too, but it doesn’t seem to have the same depth of being as OM, as if Aum is the feminine counterpart to OM. I am now spontaneously OM’ing, just for the sheer joy of it. I’ve never been into mantras before, but now OM is almost orgasmic to the soul. It’s like singing the name of God. The point of chanting OM isn’t to accomplish something in this case or arrive at some destination. It itself is its own reward, the way singing is about the song itself, not about getting to some destination at the end of the song. OM itself is the point. It is a sort of divine kiss. The mind is somewhat fascinated by this, but not too terribly so. There’s an overwhelming presence that far outshines any experience.

And so now I let go of this experience, enjoying it as it is, and allowing the flow of experience to continue. The allowing of the flow of experience is wonderful too, far more enjoyable than resistance to experience.

OM

So some teachers would suggest that you should get rid of all your desires altogether for that is the ideal state, to be happy with what is and to desire nothing more than what is here and now. Then you’ve got other teachers who would suggest that it’s not really about the desires themselves, but rather the attachment to (and therefore resistance to) the desires themselves. When we get into the discussion about desire, it can be helpful to get clear about our definition of the word desire.

Isha Judd has a hilarious video where she addresses the difference between renouncing the objects of your desire in the name of enlightenment versus letting go of the attachment to desires, as well as the difference between clingy attachment which many people confuse with love and what love actually is.

There’s also a passage I’d like to share with you that’s just past the 6 minute mark in the following Abraham-Hicks video. The passage has to do with the idea of “releasing desires.”

In the moment you stop pushing against [your monsters and fears], you catch a current that takes you to where you wanna go. That’s why some say “let go let God” or “relax.” “Release desire” is what many teach and we know that’s their way of tricking you into not having any more resistance because it is not possible for you to release desires. You are here FULL of desire, but sometimes by releasing desire, or feeling like you are, you release resistance and when you release resistance, your cork floats back to the surface or you catch the current of your stream, you see.”

-Abraham-Hicks

Allowing, surrender, non-resistance, being, going with the flow, saying yes to what is… call it what you will but it’s pretty fundamental stuff.

Have you ever heard of the term “monkey mind?” It’s basically when your mind is running amok and your thoughts are going crazy. When that happens, what to do? What to do?

Well there’s two schools of thought (no pun intended) that we can discuss:

1) Quiet your mind

2) Direct your mind deliberately towards better feeling thoughts

Both techniques are designed to help you release resistance, experience your true self, and express your natural radiance as you live your life from moment to moment.

That said, there are some key differences such as the nature of free will, as we will explore some of these differences below:

Quieting the Mind

In this camp you’ve got teachers like Ramana (who I’ve quoted below), Mooji, and Gangaji who all come from the same lineage in Advaita. (Ramana taught Papaji who taught both Mooji and Gangaji.) The “goal” in this tradition is realization of the Self and the discovery of freedom in the recognition of your true nature as nonconceptual awareness that always is. Awareness and the Self are emphasized over thought.

He who gives himself up to the Self that is God is the most excellent devotee. Giving one’s self up to God means remaining constantly in the Self without giving room for the rise of any thoughts other than that of the Self. Whatever burdens are thrown on God, He bears them. Since the supreme power of God makes all things move, why should we, without submitting ourselves to it, constantly worry ourselves with thoughts as to what should be done and how, and what should not be done and how not? We know that the train carries all loads, so after getting on it why should we carry our small luggage on our head to our discomfort, instead of putting it down in the train and feeling at ease?

-Ramana Maharshi

This is basically the ultimate “Let go and let God” outlook and even the surrendering of one’s free will with the understanding that Creation is its own independent entity which we are to surrender to. In this tradition, it is taught that free will is actually an illusion. “What to do and how to live your life” is not directly taught in specifics. Instead you are given suggestions and pointers to look within and out of that you’ll find that decisions and actions will arise naturally and spontaneously, as if you are being lived rather than deliberately choosing what to do. “It is not I but the Father with me who does these works.”

Reaching for Better Feeling Thoughts

In this camp you’ve got your self-improvement people and your Law of Attraction people. To summarize this perspective, I’d like to share with you the following wonderful video by Abraham-Hicks.

Questioner: I want to stop the monkey mind. Help me stop my monkey mind.

Abe: We don’t want to stop your monkey mind. We just want to help you train your monkey mind because thoughts that are going with the flow are ultimately more satisfying than no thought.

But think about what meditation is. Meditation is a releasing of thought and in the releasing of that resistance there’s this natural turning and going with the flow. That’s the advantage.

What we always say about the subject of meditation is we would rather see you in appreciation because in appreciation your mind is active and aligned and that’s a fuller use of the creative you than having a quieted mind which is offering no resistance, but we would encourage if your mind is scattered and it is taking you in opposition then of course you’d want to quiet it, but if your mind is active and it is moving you in the direction of the call of Source then of course you’re wanting to encourage that.

“I’m going to direct my mind and if I can’t direct it the way I want to, if I can’t easily direct my mind into a really good feeling place, then I’ll quiet it instead.” That’s the way we would use meditation.

Those who would say, “I’m going to meditate for many hours in a day. I’m gonna withdraw,” are those who have decided not to direct their mind, really. You’re a creator. You didn’t come forth to be on pause. You are a creator, but pause is better than moving upstream… so how ’bout this? “I’m moving upstream, I pause, turn my boat, and then I focus on things I want.” That would be a good application of meditation.

The main focus here is to focus your attention solely upon things that you want, things that feel good. Rather than deliberately focusing within back towards awareness, awareness is deliberated focused out into the world and inner being is deliberately allowed to actively flow into the world. Basically you go out and live your life in joy.

Emotions are not a mysterious problem that simply need to be surrendered to, but with the conscious understanding of one’s emotional guidance system and that emotions are simply an indicator telling you how in alignment with Source energy (or the truth of your being) your thoughts are, you can deliberately align your thoughts with Source and thus create a better life for yourself.

Rather than recognizing that all stories are untrue, made-up, and thus dismissing them as illusion, one decides to actively use the mind as a tool by telling better stories and better stories and better stories, evolving and strengthening this character running around on the planet. For example, personal development blogger Steve Pavlina recently posted an article on How to Build a Stronger Ego which (for people who are taught that the ideal state is egolessness) contains a number of surprisingly excellent points.

But remember, when it comes to manifestation, living the life of your dreams, and choosing better feeling thoughts, it’s not about “getting there” that is the point. The manifestation itself is not actually the point. It’s about enjoying the process itself NOW by aligning yourself to the energy of Source that is You through the deliberate focusing upon what you want and the resultant flowing of Source energy through you. THAT is the real point, to experience that feeling of creative flow, that enthusiasm and joy and zest for life. The manifestational goal is just the bait to get you moving. As is often said, life is about the journey, not the destination. The energy of the Absolute is allowed to flow into the world of the relative and the two operate in harmony together.

Relationship with Desire

You can’t permanently quench your ego’s continuous hunger for more. Every time you get what you want, you’ll find you’ve now arrived at a new place which creates a new asking and a new desire for yet even more.

In the “quiet your mind” camp, this is generally seen as a problem to overcome and part of the cause of suffering and therefore the spiritual path involves finding the eternal presence within that’s innately satisfied by its very nature for it already IS everything, infinitely everything, and thus doesn’t require that you obtain more in order to feel good, including any particular experience or state of being. When you don’t believe your thoughts at all in the first place, what then when it comes to choosing better feeling thoughts?

In the “reach for better feeling thoughts” camp, that hunger for more is seen as a good thing for it is what continues the eternal drive for creative expansion. It is how we actively and deliberately take advantage of our innate creative powers. There is no end to infinity and given that we are infinite beings, this desire calls us to experience more and more and more of ourselves.

Both perspectives acknowledge that it’s not about the getting of the thing that leads to happiness. Both stress the utmost importance of inner being. It seems the main difference is one’s relationship to desire and how desire is seen… as a beneficial thing to pursue or not.

What Do You Choose

Happiness via silent awareness or happiness via aligned thought?

I’m not here to set it up as an either/or thing by any means as I’ve found tremendous value in both. In fact, it even seems that there can be a happy marriage between the two.

What’s your take on the matter from your own life experience? What have you found thus far to be the most effective way for you of living your life in this world?

Consciousness. Awareness. I used to think this was synonymous with the ‘I Am’, but now it looks like they’re actually two distinctly unique things.

Nisargadatta Maharaj has a text titled Prior to Consciousness (you can find some quotes from it here). I remember reading over some of the quotes some time ago and noticing how much of it went right over my head. “Prior to Consciousness?” Can anything really exist apart from consciousness? (If a tree falls in a forest and there’s no one around to hear it, does it still make a sound?) What kind of reality is existence without consciousness? Is Nisargadatta arguing semantics here or is he rockin’ out some ninja-level mojo here?

It turns out life decided to set up a really powerful experience to help me understand what he meant…

Turning Off in Meditation

The other day I had this really strong urge to go meditate. As I sat down on my bed and leaned up against the wall, I consciously told myself that I wasn’t going to try and accomplish, create, or manifest anything in this time allotted. Should I need to receive or experience something I’d be open to it, but there wasn’t a demand for even that. It was just a decision to BE, to be in a state of full surrender.

Quickly I began dropping down into a deep meditative state and within maybe 2-3 minutes or so, I could feel myself starting to expand beyond the limits of my physical body. Basically the beginnings of an OBE (out of body experience). The thought crossed my mind as to whether or not I should ground myself and hold this energy back down into the physical, but I let that go and allowed my energy to do what it would.

The next thing I know I come to, still sitting upright in my bed. I take a few breaths and then open my eyes and look over at the clock. An entire HOUR had passed. In that time I had basically shut down and turned off. There was no conscious experience of anything during that hour, no awareness of self in that time, no thoughts, and no memory of what happened at all.

I know I didn’t just fall asleep. For months I would get sleepy towards the end of a meditation and I’d stop and take a nap. (To be honest, I think it was my ego trying to get out of meditation and making my body tired to get me to quit, heh.) Because that’s happened SO many times, I know exactly what it’s like to get tired and want to fall asleep when meditating and this definitely wasn’t that. I was still sitting upright. Not even my head had slumped over. It was literally as if my entire sense of self had been turned off and my body was frozen in time.

If this is what the experience of death is like (annihilation of self), then death is really nothing to worry about. In nonexistence, there’s no one there to experience death, much less have a problem with it. When you come back after the experience, there’s nothing there to remember. Going through this experience really helped alleviate my fear of death to some degree.

I noticed it hasn’t wiped out my fear of death altogether yet as a few days later during meditation, I could feel the life force literally leaving my body altogether, as if it was being ripped out of my chest, and there was still attachment to keeping *my life force energy* in *my body* for separating them would mean death of self. Resistance to the experience. I’d consciously surrender more and more trying to release the resistance totally, but then the phone rang and pulled me out of my meditation. heh…

This is very different from the conscious experience of nothingness, of the recognition of the no thing that manifests as everything. That’s been experienced before here too and this most definitely was NOT that. In that there is conscious awareness. In this there is not.

Knowing that I didn’t simply cease to exist for a little while and then spontaneously come back into existence, it became clear that there is a difference between consciousness and the ‘I Am.’ I Am is eternal, but the experience of and memory of conscious awareness of the I Am is apparently not. One can exist without conscious awareness of self. It’s similar to how you continue to exist even when in a state of deep sleep between what we call the waking state and the dream state. In that gap there is no reality being experienced (physical reality, the dream world, or otherwise), nor is there a sense of consciousness that is conscious of anything, much less itself. It’s quite literally as if someone flicks the light switch off on you and then later flicks it back on. It’s one thing to have it happen when you’re asleep or get knocked out. That’s normal. This was different…

What’s Going On?

So I’ve always had an association in my mind between consciousness, existence, life, being, and the I Am. Many names for God, right?

If you were to ask me what happened, I don’t really know, but it’s my feeling that there was an experience on some higher than conscious level. Do you remember what happened prior to your birth? Probably not, and yet there were many experiences to be had there disconnected from this physical incarnation. I’ve read that when we go to sleep and go into that state of offness, our soul often leaves our body again and goes off into other dimensions and astral realms and whatnot, so perhaps this was similar.

Reaching out to friends in inquiry about this experience, I’m finding that a number of us have been walking along similar points in the journey for quite some time now. For example, CaterpillarWoman from our forums just wrote a post about That Which is Beyond Consciousness. It’s almost like a flock of birds where we’re all moving independently together. I’ve even found myself going through the same experiences and using the same words and examples as people I don’t even talk to. It’s pretty wild to see this happening. Life is so fricken’ cool…

Anyways, with respect to this experience I’ve come across a number of things that my friends have shared with me:

Developing One’s Abilities as a Conduit

A friend of mine named Kathy who I met recently and was guided to ask about this experience shared that she’s had pretty much the same experience in meditation as me. Sweet! Good to hear! Here is some of what she had to say on the topic, shared with you guys with her permission:

Practitioners of meditation, yoga and healing (or in my case Shamanic) breathing techniques are capable of inducing themselves into a state of trance that sets them up for out of body experiences.

The reason you have no memory is because your body wasn’t along for the ride – it was a soul experience – which means that your higher self is capable of sharing information with your about where you went and what happened.

“Trance can be both voluntary and involuntary, but in both the effect is the same – disassociation of the soul from the body, and temporary detachment from everything related to body. It is neither the state of wakefulness nor that of the sleep. It is an intermediate state of being.”

Visionaries, prophets and psychics all are capable of mastering this state of being. So, if I had to “guess” I’d say that you’re being prepped/initiated for the next step of what will be asked of you on your life path. You’re being shown a portal that’s open to you for your futher development…and how cool is that?!

The trance state is what’s being developed – yes OBE is a part of it in that it’s why you feel you’ve turned off – but the skill of going into a deep trance state at will is what’s being developed – it’s something Edgar Cayce mastered, as an example. You’re further developing your skills as a conduit ;-)

Woohoo!!! Hearing this is SUPER exciting to me. You see, I’ve been meeting SO many channels over the past year or so and am having a great time learning about what channeling is all about and exploring the similarities and differences between channeling styles, so much so that I recently put out a youtube video on the subject. Just seeing it from an outsider’s perspective and watching documentaries on channeling like Tuning In, as fun as that is, I wanna play too! So I’ve intentionally developing my intuition and listening skills, and even going through Bashar’s workshop again called The Art of Channeling (available on youtube) where they explain all about channeling and then even teach you how to become a channel.

The past few days since this experience, I’ve been feeling strong pulls to continue meditating and I’ve noticed that when I do, I drop down into a really deep meditative state really quickly. This shift is something very new for me and so I’m really following it to see what develops.

The State of Nothingness

Next I’d like to share with you a dialog that was brought forth a few months ago in response to a question I had for my friend Marie. She took my question and asked God about it. The following is her answer, shared here with you with her permission:

Dear God. My friend asked me this question:

“When we get hit on our head and lose consciousness, our whole reality as we know it ceases to exist. We no longer experience it. Other people can see our bodies, but we see nothing. I don’t think we actually cease to exist in those moments. Is there actually a conscious experience then and our physical memory is simply disabled in those moments or what?”

The state of nothingness is a state of intense transformation, Marie. This is a state which your energy experiences right before it takes a human form and shortly after the death of the physical body. Also, this very state may be experienced by embodied being at the moments of major transformations.

I agree: often this state feels like death. No wonder people don’t have a sense of body or memory in this state… Why do I have to experience death while alive?

In order to become aware of yourself as all that is, many people first need to realize themselves beyond their body and mind. In other words, they need to break thorough that wall which separates life and death. The state of nothingness is that train that takes you through the tunnel of unconsciousness to the “other side” of awareness. It is that bridge that allows you to experience existence and nonexistence simultaneously.

Sometimes these ‘trips’ happen spontaneously. Why is that?

Nothing happens spontaneously, my dear: when you are consciously or unconsciously ready to know more of yourself, your energy creates an experience of entering that train.

Does everybody have to experience this ‘train’ in order to become you?

Yes, but not in every lifetime. For instance, someone who experienced this state this life time and evolved through it to the point when the train is no longer needed will incarnate in his next lifetime with an awareness of himself as all that is.

So, the purpose of that train is to take one from the world of relative to the world of absolute?

True. Except for these two are not separate worlds, even though it may appear that way. The mastery though, is to complete the circle, not getting stuck in any of its fragments. True awakening starts with the awareness of your body and mind as limited reality; continues with the awareness of self beyond the body and the mind, and ends with an awareness of the body and the mind as unlimited reality.

So, one doesn’t have to take these trips to ‘the other side’ of awareness his entire life?

Not at all. The purpose of taking any trip is to arrive to your destination. If you can remember that your destination is not the train itself and not the places you visit, but your own self, the experience of being on the train will eventually disappear.

Many people don’t know how to act on that train. Can you give advice?

Get your mind out of the way.

That’s it?

That’s it. If you can resist the temptation to analyze the train and the landscape, but simply allow the train to take you through transformation, you will merge with the absolute effortlessly.

This makes so much sense. You said that my entire being is going through transformation in this state. Does it include my mind?

Of course it does. This is why thinking in this state is nearly impossible.

So, it’s like a surgery with Divine anesthesia.

Great analogy.

Well, now I can see why “waking up” in the middle of the “procedure” can be so frustrating… My last question is: Why when one is in this state others perceive him as a human being but he doesn’t perceive himself this way?

Others perceive you as a human being, because you never quit being one. It is just that in the beginning of your transformation your mind doesn’t have the capacity to perceive yourself as more than one thing. So, it perceives you either as a human being with a body and thoughts or as a silent awareness with no body and thoughts. Eventually your mind transforms so much, that it develops capacity to be aware of all aspects of your being simultaneously. That is when you no longer need the train to bridge between ‘two’ worlds, but you realize yourself as an embodiment (separateness) of the absolute (oneness).

Thank you.

and so with the wonderfully helpful suggestion to get the mind out of the way and continue focusing on myself (as usual), I’m going to wrap up this post and go back to enjoying the journey and following the guidance of my energy and intuition. It’s creating such a wonderful transformational process here and I am very grateful to be along for the ride.