So I’ve been on the road about 5 weeks now, driven over 4600 miles, and have been living life in experimentation mode by applying various principles I’ve come to know and seeing how well they really work in this whole “real life” thing. I’ve made amazing friends partying at Mardi Gras, photographed a cheer and dance competition in Texas, skied in New Mexico, camped along the Rio Grande, hiked down into the Grand Canyon, had an ostrich bite my camera, been homeless in Colorado, discovered how every state has is very own distinct vibe, experienced the most ridiculous and consistent degrees of synchronicity, met amazing friends all over the country, had the universe repeatedly bring me all that I want including exactly the type of weather I want when I want it, been given free food and lodging all over the country… Quite honestly this is the most exciting and simultaneously the most terrifying thing I’ve ever done.

I’m learning SO much. There’s lots of things I’m learning that I didn’t know before and many things that I’m finally actually GETTING. To use an analogy, let’s say you’ve done martial arts for a while and your instructor keeps telling you, “Hands up! Keep your hands up!” and so you know that your hands need to be up but when you’re practicing, your hands subconsciously keep coming down. It isn’t until you actually spar against an opponent and get clocked in the head that you finally GET IT that your hands need to be UP!  This is a lot like that. As is often said, life is our greatest teacher… There’s a lot of things that I “knew” didn’t work, and if you were to ask me before, I’d tell you that no, such-and-such doesn’t work. If you asked me now, I’d be like “nah dude, really, that shit DOES NOT WORK!!” It’s that transition from mental understanding to gut-level understanding.

This has also been a very emotional experience in that it’s forcing me to really look at myself. I’m basically free to go where I want and do what I want (within reason… a 4 wheel drive or all wheel drive vehicle would be super handy for going up into the snowy mountain peaks and camping in the backcountry, for example, buy I digress…). One thing I wanted from this trip was to really shed light onto the remaining unconscious portions of myself. See, I remember Adyashanti talking about when his awakenings first started, and they also began in the nonabiding form as I am experiencing, when he was going through his process he’d sit down in a coffee shop for hours writing and writing about his beliefs and exploring any area within him that would still go into division. This has been a big part of my journey here. It’s really taking what I’ve learned and applying it all. Jump in with both feet and apply the law of attraction, for example. Apply the ability to surrender and let go when your ego gets bruised and you face your inner darkness head on. Do all the stuff you need to do because now it really matters. It’s crunch time and the pressure’s on.

Freedom of Experience

To what degree do I want to experience freedom? I’ve thrown up a tent and camped in state parks and enjoyed being out in nature. I’ve slept in my car and enjoyed waking up in new places and not having to tear down a tent in the cold mornings. I’ve stayed in hotels and loved the big comfy bed and the little kitchenettes that allow me to cook. I’ve stayed on friends’ futons and enjoyed the free lodging and social life. What is the most harmonious expression of freedom that I’d like to experience? Let’s go out and try a lot of different things and see what they’re like!

Now I’m looking for a more permanent home to throw down some roots. It seems that this country really caters to those with a home and address. Where do I want to live? I can live in Denver, a big city with lots of different regions all over. I can live in Boulder which is a smaller town with a great spiritual vibe and amazing outdoorsy people. I can live up in a small mountain town like Nederland which gets a lot more snow and has more unplowed roads. Heck, I can even go live in a tipi on a sustainable farm! So many options! What do I want? What does my heart say?

Go dive into the unknown and follow that intuition… Let’s see where it takes me.

Spontaneity vs. Planning

What degree of structure do I want in my life? What works best? What feels best? What is most enjoyable? You can try going out somewhere in the world where you literally have NOTHING that you need to do. No plans. No nothing. Just show up and here you are. Where does your intuition lead you next? Completely and utterly spontaneous, allowing synchronicity to be everything.

Do you want a full schedule with lots of things to do and times to be at certain places?

Do you want to be generally open with only a few things scheduled to give your life some sense of  structure and direction while simultaneously being open to change direction on a dime?

I’m finding the last option to be most enjoyable for me. Complete and utter no plans doesn’t feel so good. I like having a next step to head towards in life and a few things on my to-do list. I like having an overall purpose for my life within which I allow the flow to occur. What do you like?

This is something that has been really valuable, to really let go and actually try out lots of different ways of being in the world and find what feels and works best for YOU. This is probably something that each person needs to find out for themselves…

Intuition

Intuition is SO bang on. It’s been my go-to option whenever it comes down to make a decision. Virtually every decision now is simply a matter of asking my intuition. What does this feel like? How does that option feel? Eventually you really start to develop the ability to discern between the feelings of expansiveness, openness, joy, excitement, and subtleness that usually comes with the intuition’s yes versus the sense of closure, downness, no, stopping, almost shut down that comes with the intuition’s no. Honestly one of the main challenges is getting the mind to align with the intuition. That’s really where the main challenge seems to lie, in getting the mind with all its logic and reasoning to surrender to a simple feeling that doesn’t explain itself.

Law of Attraction

The Law of Attraction really works. I mean it REALLY works. I experience so consistently whatever it is that I most strongly think and believe deep down. It’s SO clear…

You are the light, mind is the prism, the world is your rainbow.
-Ash Ruiz

One thing I found amusing was to over and over hear people say “but this never happens!” It’s like everywhere I’d go, restaurants would hand me free food and beer, the weather would be perfect and just as I’d asked, things would just work out for me, and I’d just smile knowing that this has all been created within me and is being experienced due to my own inner alignment. At the same time, I only experience it to the degree that the alignment with inner being is maintained. It’s like a direct 1:1 relationship. Alignment with inner being, loving what is, non-resistance to the present moment, being in the vortex, being in a state of allowing, flowing the energy of Source through you, whatever you wanna call it… this one singular thing is what leads to the unfoldment of all that I desire in ways that are more amazing that I could have ever imagined had I been trying to micromanage or control any of this. It’s like having full creative power of choosing my vibrational state of being and simultaneously having no control over the physical world. The more I surrender control of the world and focus on inner alignment, the more the apparently outer world shows up in ways that reflect my inner alignment. This is really what the LoA is all about.

Happiness

This has been a pretty hard-hitting one for me. I really thought on some level that going out and jumping in to what I perceived to be a life of freedom and travel would bring happiness. It was subtle, but it was definitely here. This has been one false notion that’s been crashing down the past few days, and it’s been a tough pill to swallow. How many times have I thought that going out and “living the life of my dreams” would be what I was looking for? Wasn’t that what life was supposed to be about? It’s the idea that a certain lifestyle = happiness. Nope. Being out here in Colorado doesn’t make me happy. Heck, even manifesting all the stuff that I want doesn’t make me happy. Experiencing synchronicity and being in the flow itself doesn’t make me happy. It really doesn’t. I’m finding I keep placing conditions on my happiness and joy, as if something in life needs to be a certain way so that I can experience happiness and so I go about trying to structure my life a certain way. I keep placing these conditions on myself and finding that they keep come crashing down. They don’t work.

What I keep coming to find is that happiness DOES NOT lie outside of myself, as cliche as that may be. Happiness isn’t found in being loved. It isn’t found in living a certain lifestyle. It isn’t found in finally getting something you’ve always wanted. It doesn’t lie in mastery of a certain skill or achievement in a particular ability, including manifesting everything you want. Not at all…

The way it seems that it works is that happiness is found within, as if we ARE it. Literally. We find that we ARE it when we quit looking to FIND it. This inner being that is along for the journey every step of the way, this awareness that is ALWAYS present no matter how epic or traumatic the experience of life is, this presence that is always always always here, it’s so easy to get distracted from that and get lost in thought or lost in the world or lost in experiences, and yet this beingness is always here. When there’s a turning within, Love is found here. Joy is found here. Happiness is found here. Peace is found here.  Well-being is found here. It doesn’t matter where in the world I am or what is happening around me. It’s like this ground of being is becoming my home, silence is becoming my home, even if I don’t have a physical place to call home.

I wanted to write a book about the Law of Attraction, put together a workshop, collect videos that were especially helpful and so on, and yet what I’m starting to find is that mastery of manifesting DOES NOT BRING HAPPINESS. If I ever do come out with a product on the LoA, manifesting is going to be seen as sooooo secondary to being joyous, to being joy itself.

Byron Katie

The other day I was listening to Byron Katie and she said a number of things that completely blew me away…

Her whole thing is about questioning your thoughts and no longer believing in thought whatsoever, thereby ending your suffering. Her process to help us accomplish this she calls The Work and it’s repeatedly proving itself to be so effective and powerful…

She says that all suffering is a result of believing in thought. Period.  She mentioned that one thing she loves about life is that when someone else experiences pain, she doesn’t. When she experiences pain, the other doesn’t. We *think* that we suffer because of what another says or does, but the reality is we suffer because we believe thoughts that arise within us about what another said or did. If we didn’t believe any of our thoughts, experiences would simply happen and we wouldn’t suffer as a result of them. When you no longer believe in your thoughts, you are in heaven. When asked if she still feels like she’s in heaven even when bad things happen to her, she said she no longer perceives them as bad because she’s done the inquiry and doesn’t believe the thoughts that arise that suggest something is bad. She then went so far as to suggest that what if you went to heaven and took all your current thoughts with you. Would you then even experience heaven at all? The thing is you wouldn’t, and this is the condition most people are in. We all are in heaven right now, and yet we don’t experience it because we believe in our thoughts.

This is something that Adya has mentioned before as well, that he has literally lost the ability to believe in his own thoughts… I’ve wondered how this plays out in terms of the LoA which says that what you believe you experience… The two perspectives kinda seem at odds and this is a paradox that I have still only partially resolved for myself.

In any event, questioning my own thoughts repeatedly is bringing SO much valuable insight to me, so much clarity, and so much understanding. It’s a very useful technique…

So What Now?

There is SO much I don’t know. Everytime I think I know something, life gently and lovingly shows me how completely utterly wrong I am. There’s just so much more surrender to experience, a continual opening up to even deeper love (especially the scarier places), finding more areas of darkness and bringing the light into them, being happy and joyous for its own sake without any reason necessary, letting go of those fears and resistances and doubts and worries, and really just BEING. Being, loving, enjoying, surrendering…

Really I don’t know anything. Geez…

All I know is that here I am, sitting in a coffee shop, reflecting on the past few weeks of… good god… I don’t know how to describe it…

Whew… So yeah… If you’ve made it this far along and enjoyed what was shared, If you wanna read more from a wandering guy who has no idea what he’s doing half the time  :lol  feel free to donate some cash and help me pay for food and gas. It’s certainly appreciated!

Until next time, happy living!!

-Ariel

Suggestions and pointers can be very useful, but we may eventually outgrow them. Teachings are helpful up to a certain point, but we must eventually let them go or else they will become limitations. It’s almost like sitting in a big slingshot. The slingshot will sling you forward, but if you continue holding on for too long, what once propelled you forward will eventually hold you back.

Enjoying the World

For example, one such teaching that I’m finding that it’s time to let go of is, “It is the ego which seeks to be constantly entertained. It does so as a substitute for the truth of your being, as a distraction. The world and its appearances are a distraction from going within. All the happiness you find in the world does nothing but strengthen your ego, furthering the illusion that your joy comes from the world. It’s more important to turn within than to focus on the world outside of you. You’ll never find that which you seek by looking to the world. Straight and narrow is the path. Waste no time.”

We could say that, especially in the beginning, the ego functions as a sort of emotional gatekeeper, as if it literally “lets happiness in” when certain external conditions are met and certain things “make me happy.” This is not true. The happiness comes from within and there is an infinite supply of it.

This teaching when misunderstood, ahem…, can be used to conclude that happiness from the world = bad. Imagine that… you get into something hoping to end your suffering, only to adopt a new (apparently “more spiritual”) belief system that has you avoiding everything you find joyful in the world! That’s messed up…

If you also have the belief system, “Life is scary and I’m terrified of it so I’m gonna run into my cave and transcend fear altogether by getting enlightened,” well than this way of avoiding the world actually becomes useful.

Causeless Happiness

Learning that our happiness isn’t literally derived from external conditions (which is true), we begin disassociating the cause of our happiness from external conditions, finding that we can be happy no matter what is happening outside of us. We find a wellspring of happiness that bubbles up from the I AM without cause. We only need to let go of resisting it to experience it. This is a great discovery. We find we’re no longer dependent upon external situations being a certain way in order to find joy like some sort of druggie. We’re no longer addicted to our sources of entertainment as if our joy depended upon it and thus those attachments progressively fall away.

Once we free our joy from the world, we’re free to experience it in the world as much as we want.

We begin finding the always available joy within and, interestingly enough, noticing that it has a natural tendency of wanting to express itself in life. Joy naturally wants to be expressed. Once we discover this, we’re free to reengage with our previous activities which we had previously been detaching from. We no longer need to do certain things and in this there is freedom.

Now we find ourselves inspired and guided from within to move in a particular direction. Instead of trying to derive joy from activities, we find that our inner joy harmonizes with certain activities quite naturally and thus we do those activities as an expression of inner joy. We bring the joy to the world. We live as a source of joy, as joy itself in human form.

This energy needs to flow out into the world. It’s part of “bringing heaven down to earth” you could say, of grounding the higher chakra energy down into your lower chakras. Simply pooling the love and light up within yourself and blissing out in meditation is sort of the spiritual equivalent of masturbation. Stripped of societal judgment, masturbation is basically a way to give yourself pleasure and that’s a wonderful thing and I’m all for it, but maybe it’s possible that there’s something more to life than that…

It’s okay to play. It’s great to have fun. It is good to feel good. There’s a reason the Buddha is often depicted with a smile on his face.

Time. I don’t wanna get into the discussion about time, eternity, the illusion of past and future, and all that jazz. I’m just not feelin’ it right now. Instead I wanna address some direct and distinct shifts that are occurring, namely that time (among other things) is quite literally starting to break apart and fracture right before my very eyes.

It’s not just about the experience of timelessness or events seeming to either fly by or take forever, not just those internal personal experiences, but I’m also now beginning to see these internal things be reflected back to me in the world. Digital clocks are now sometimes literally beginning to skip, as in several minutes or hours at a time simply won’t exist for me even though there is still the continuing experience of life. Analog clocks (the ones with minute hands and hour hands) around me are slowing down and getting off sync with other sources of time, and it’s not just old clocks and dying batteries…

It’s quite literally as if certain parts of life literally do not exist for me.

To be honest, there’s a number of things I’ve held myself back from talking about here, either because I wanted to keep this blog focused specifically on awakening or because some of the topics are a little too *out there*… But you know what? Let’s roll with it and see where this takes us, especially now that a bunch of you are reporting to have similar experiences anyways…

Telepathy and Empathy

My latent telepathic abilities have started awakening and I’ve noticed that my inner guidance is often operating in harmony with other people wanting to tell me something. As mentioned yesterday, it’s like being part of a flock of birds, both individual and simultaneously unified, where multiple people are cooperative components to a greater whole. We can call it co-creating the experience of intuitive communication. It’s as if two of us are somehow on the same frequency and can pick up on one another’s thoughts, feelings, intentions, and desires.

This seems to be correlating to a sudden increase in empathy (and actually sympathy at times) and intuitive strength that has occurred within the last two weeks. I now feel people much more strongly and even cry and laugh quite often for no logical reason, both in meditation when releasing my own inner stuff as well as when feeling other people’s emotions. Heck, I’ve been crying when watching American Idol auditions these past few weeks, much to my surprise! It seems to occur particularly often when I observe people who really really really want to make it to Hollywood. It’s like I can connect to them and suddenly feel all their emotion come pouring through me.

Again, developing the ability to surrender and maintain a sense of transparency so that the energy flows through me without me absorbing it personally, this is a really important skill. I often prefer this to simply closing down my heart and blocking out other people’s energies, though that certainly has its place in terms of learning to moderate the flow of energy and not take in more than you can handle.

As an aside, long distance wireless communication has always fascinated me. When I was younger I built WiFi antennas, spent time with friends who were amateur radio operators, studied electromagnetics and lasers in college where I learned about RF communication (like radio and TV) as well as optical communication through fiber optic cables, spent time ogling satellites and satellite dishes, and studied up on the basics of quantum teleportation-based communication. This blossoming of interest in telepathic communication is not about the desire for siddhis and supernatural abilities, but a natural progression of and development of an lifelong passion of mine.

Beyond Earth

I’ve also started getting flashes of not only past lives on earth, but past lives elsewhere in the cosmos. Ever since I was a little kid, looking up into the stars feels somehow like being home. Recognizing this and seeing my own galactic history makes it much easier to accept freely for myself many of the extraterrestrial beings who are channeling down to earth at this time. (The Essassani, Arcturians, and Pleiadians are among my favorites that I have come across thus far.) Being able to accept this and release so much internal resistance and denail has been a HUGE relief for me, like a tremendous weight lifted off my shoulders.

One quick point about past lives: When I look back I find that they’re not really past lives. They’re more like multiple simultaneously occurring incarnations. Since I’m now finding my consciousness starting to periodically disconnect from the apparent stream of linear earth time (or more accurately consciousness ceasing to create the experience of time within itself), there have been some discontinuous breaks that have been experienced as mentioned previously. It’s not under my deliberate conscious control. It’s like something that just seems to happen as I fully surrender to the moment. It almost feels like I’m gradually entering the world of time travel and have yet to find the steering wheel or the panel that allows me to pick a time and place to jump to. Either way, looks like I’ve got both a flux capacitor and 1.21 gigawatts at my disposal.

There have also been some conscious connections strengthening with archangels, in particular Archangel Michael. I don’t have a two-way verbal dialog happening with him yet, but his presence is quite clear and visceral to me. His energy I can actually feel quite distinctly, as if he’s standing behind me like the picture above illustrates. (My head even has developed a natural tendency to lean back, again just like that picture above, ironically enough…) Every being, whether collective or individual, seems to have uniquely different energies. This applies whether we’re talking about spirit guides, angels or archangels, extraterrestrials, or even your very own light within. Each has a unique vibrational feeling signature, much like different notes in a song.

This universe is far more expansive than we’ve been taught in school. As nontraditional and even woowoo as some of this may seem, right or wrong it’s something I just have to let go and allow to arise through me. Sometimes reality is stranger than fiction…

So the usual definition of enlightenment would include something along the lines of seeing reality as it actually is in its undivided state, seeing the One in the All, returning to one’s natural state of unity rather than separation, recognizing your true nature to be present moment awareness, or quite simply being who you really are.

To add another perspective to the mix, let’s look at Abraham-Hicks’ definition of enlightenment, which is basically being a blended being and being in the vortex by aligning to the energy of Source energy, but not necessarily in every moment of every day. This is somewhat different than the Advaita, Zen, and Buddhist perspectives of enlightenment.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKi3CSRk5ew

There’s this idea that once you’re enlightened, you will no longer experience any negative emotion and you will be in a place of permanent happiness, and yet what I have from my own experience (which was very confusing at first), from those I have talked to, and even from well-known teachers like Adyashanti, Papaji, Mooji, Nisargadatta, and numerous other enlightened teachers, it’s not about a lasting experience of happiness or peace, but recognizing the well-being that is present from the eternal Self that you are, regardless of any emotional state.

In the video above, Abraham points out that while the well-being of Source is eternal and unchanging, the experience of that and the manifestation of that here in this time/space reality is not how any of us are designed to live our lives in physical form. We’re designed to experience the contrast as a way to continue the unfoldment of creating. By seeing what we don’t want, that helps us know what we do want and thus can be used as a positive way, even if the focusing on what we don’t want takes us out of the vortex momentarily. To experience the negative emotions that result from that is very much okay. It’s by design. It’s not a sign of failure or not being spiritual or enlightened enough. It’s just a sign that thoughts are arising within us in the moment that are out of alignment with Source energy/Love/Truth. That’s ALL.

Living It

It’s easy to get into a discussion about nonduality, consciousness, awareness, oneness, and all these topics which to me honestly feel kinda heavy at this point to talk about. Very seri0us almost.

And yet what I’m coming to find is the more I surrender, let go, reach for thoughts that feel better, perform self-inquiry, do some releasing work like The Sedona Method or The Work, or allow things to be as they are, which are all basically ways to release the ego’s resistance to what is which is the foundation for the separate self that for so long has been a part of the human experience, the more I both expand my awareness of All That Is (the light and the dark) as well as discover this eternal bliss that is always present, and the more I live life as an expression of and celebration of joy and love. Heck, I find myself just not really caring about “enlightenment” anymore and instead enjoy living this life experience in this moment, here and now, fully as I AM.

What is being discovered is that, as so many masters have said, YOU are the point, YOU are the Divine, and the Kingdom of God is within YOU. YOU are the gift. YOU are what you have been looking for. The I AM is IT!! Just to BE what you ARE is already a tremendous blessing, and to be that in living expression by having this life experience which allows us to both know and EXPERIENCE who we really are… MAN that’s so good… That’s grounding the spiritual energy into the physical, uniting the up here with down here, and bringing heaven down to earth as is often said. And so the point is just to enjoy the love that is you, the joy that is you, the well-being that is you, here and now. EnJOY it! In Joy.

“If you really want enlightenment, just lighten up!”

www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pkxFNc8kCY

True Enlightenment is moving to the rhythm of the internal inspiration that is coming in response to the individual desire.

Enlightenment is allowing my connection to the Source that is me for the fulfillment of the things that I have individually defined in my time/space reality. That’s as good as it gets, you see.

-Abraham

We can talk about going with the flow, and from a place of Oneness, there is only the flow of life. There are no separate parts, just this one harmonious flow of many apparent individuals. To paraphrase the Sufi poet Rumi, you are the entire ocean, and the entire ocean is contained in each drop, expressing itself as each drop. We can allow everything to be as it is and find that there’s this natural intuitive movement within us to flow this way or that, as if we have an inner sense of what the next step is and how to respond spontaneously in any moment. No rules. Just natural flow. Simple. Light. Ease.

You know what? I love video posts. These are a lot of fun and I’m feeling called to develop my speaking and presentation skills and so I’d like to do more videos now instead of writing.

So here’s a video where we talk about those times when we get taken over by negative emotions. What to do then?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIO--pfXMuc

www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRpjDXCRwiM

Here’s a pattern I’ve noticed: Some of my greatest awakenings, realizations, and experiences in this life have been preceded by dramatic lows beforehand, emotionally, mentally, and otherwise. It’s almost like a lot of gunk comes up, is brought into awareness and experienced vividly, and once it is finally flushed out through giving up fighting against it anymore (acceptance and surrender), I am refilled with a tremendous degree of love and light.

There’s an old saying, “It’s always darkest before the dawn.”

Once we begin seeing this pattern unfold, we can begin to let go of our resistance to and pushing away of the painful and uncomfortable aspects of the process and begin trusting the process itself. There’s a method to the madness. It may be harder to trust and let go when you’re right in the midst of the depths, sure, but it is very much possible.

Gratitude

One thing that I’ve been receiving lately is the knowledge that gratitude helps reduce the extreme swings of the pendulum. (Thank you!!!) As has been shared with me, “gratitude is the glue” that holds things together when it feels like it’s all falling apart.

As I write this, I’m getting the sense that this is a different type of “holding together.” It’s not a sense of control and resistance to the crumbling of the old energies as a way of trying to limit one’s pain and stay in one’s comfort zone, but more of a way to help you move through the process and allow change to happen without so much of the previous struggle that has been associated with it.

Gratitude Gratitude Gratitude. We hear about it all the time and blessed is the day we finally listen.

Today’s post isn’t about something I know, but about something I’m still learning about and would like to have your input on. It has to do with the topic of emotional interdependence in relationships. The question itself is at the end. The majority of the post is just contextual setup and lead-in.

Dependence

When we’re little kids, we’re very dependent upon our families for food, shelter, love, and so on. Without those things, we’d shrivel up and die.

Independence

As we grow up, we begin to develop a sense of independence. We often start to rebel against our parents in our teenage years, go through a time of trying to “find our identities” and develop an independent sense of self, and then eventually move out of our parent’s place and start a life of our own. We develop our independence.

In this independent stage, we can recognize that our happiness is in our own hands. No one else makes us happy. All our emotions are available within, and our mind can act as a sort of gatekeeper or trigger for our emotional states. Realizing this, we recognize that we can simply give ourselves whatever it is we want. For example, the sense of happiness, peace, abundance, well-being, joy, success, or whatever else. Our emotional state of being is completely independent of our external experiences.

Seeing this, we could then say that we could sit around all day visualizing the life we want, injecting ourselves with the emotional stimulation and visualized experiences that we prefer, but you know what? Life is meant to be lived! Visualization and giving yourself what you need yourself is not meant to be a replacement for life, but an addition to it.

Interdependence

Eventually we may come to see that no man is an island. Although much of the journey within is an internal journey that must be walked alone, there’s more to life than the just internal journey. Other people are very important in our lives as well. We can accomplish much more together than we ever could alone. In fact, there are many things in life that you quite simply can’t do yourself. Other people are not only important, but flat out necessary.

Seeing this, we can begin allowing ourselves to become more interdependence and this is where my questions for you guys lies.

We are responsible for our own emotions, yes. No one else is responsible for our happiness and it’s a recipe for suffering to give someone else the responsibility for our emotional well-being. That said, when we enter into a relationship with another, it can be wonderful to have someone there to cheer you up when you’re feeling down, to encourage you and inspire you when you’re feeling discouraged, and to celebrate with you when you’re feeling great.

Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow.

-Swedish Proverb

Nevertheless, the person shouldn’t feel obligated to help you, like it’s their duty or their requirement as part of the job. There’s a balance between standing in your own strength and leaning on another for support, between not requiring another to help you out and yet fully opening to them and allowing them to help you out anyways. Where is that balance?

What Do You Guys Think?

There may not be one “right answer” to this, but in terms mutually supporting one another emotionally from a place of unconditional love, what would you guys say is a beneficial way for the two people in a relationship to relate to each other?

Maybe sometimes you help them heal. Other times you leave them be. Things change depending upon situation, context, personality, etc. and so there’s no one-size-fits-all answer.

Nevertheless, what have you guys done in the past in your relationships and what’s worked for you? What would you say the role of a partner is in terms of emotional intimacy? This applies both to platonic relationships (friends) as well as more intimate relationships, but perhaps moreso the latter.

This spiritual pathway can be very much like a roller coaster. There are highs and lows that happen against the backdrop of being, and they can be pretty intense. I often share some of my dark experiences here on this site. The past few days have been like that again. Big emotional upheaval, anger, rage, confusion, ego, and the fear of backsliding into unconsciousness. Y’know… that whole bit…

Funny to see the latest WINGS post be in alignment with what’s being experienced here. People talk about the mercury retrograde and whatnot. I have no idea what that stuff means, but it seems like a lot of that fits. Neat-o.

Anyways, regarding the dark stuff, one interesting to see is that it’s like a part of you burns up within. It’s like a mini-death, a release of old energy that is no longer you nor in harmony with your new vibration. We can think of it as an emotional storm, or a fire burning within. It feels like a part of you (quite literally) burns up in the process.

But what’s left after any big forest fire? Fresh, live, nutrient-rich soil. (The past few times I’ve written that line, I’ve “accidentally” typed the word “soul” instead of “soil.” hehe.) It’s a perfect place to start anew.

In this way, it’s like a sort of rebirth. Part of you literally dies and the part of you which can neither die nor be (re)born shines that much more clearly.

After the fire there’s a feeling of increased freedom, but cling not to this experience for it, like every other experience we can have, will pass. Enjoy it, but don’t get attached. There’ll probably be more storms to come. More darkness to face later. More inner nooks and crannies of fear to heal and transmute back into light.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0v3a-Z4QhY

The quotes from that video come from the book Oneness.

Also, this Adyashanti article helped me return back to the direct experience of who I truly am. Perhaps some of you will find them helpful as well.

In any event, hi.

It’s pretty nice to no longer feel like I have the IQ and clarity of a slug in the mud. It’s quite wonderful to feel open, relaxed, and free. Yes it is… It’s so.. natural.

What have you guys found to be helpful when you’re caught in the midst of the fire within? How do you relate to it? What do you find afterwards when the fire subsides?

When our bodies get sick, perhaps we catch a cold, get the flu, or run a fever, what are some of the symptoms? Runny nose, high temperature, etc. These symptoms are not actually a problem, as uncomfortable as they may be. They are the body’s way of ridding itself of the crud. It’s part of a sort of detoxification purging process. It’s not comfortable. It’s not pleasant. But it is necessary to release the previously collected junk.

Trying to stop the symptoms actually inhibits the healing. Allowing them to do what they need to do allows for the greatest possible speed in flushing through and out of your system.

Similarly, when you stop eating a familiar food or drinking a familiar drink, the body may crave that food or drink for a little while and you may experience a sense of withdrawl, a sense that something that used to be a part of “your energy” is now missing. It feels like something is lacking, in a sense, and we all know how “off” the feeling of lack can be.

It seems that we can go through the same sort of thing emotional, mentally, physically, spiritually, and energetically.

One thing I’m noticing now is that I’m energetically detoxing within and without.

Within, there’s a lot of negative emotional energy that’s arising. To be honest, I’m not in the greatest of moods and I’m not all that pleasant to be around right now. I actually avoid socializing and being around people right now. It doesn’t feel like what my energy needs. There’s lots of painbody stuff coming up to be made aware of and flushed out.

Without, I’m getting rid of some people in my life. I’ve been pretty open with who I hang out with in real life, as well as who I hang out with on facebook and twitter. There’s this idea I’ve held that since everything is love and light, everything’s okay. All is well. This is true and yet nevertheless, I am finding toxic and draining people in my environment. People who cling, complain, argue, and otherwise bring down the overall vibe, you’re gone. It’s nothing personal. It doesn’t mean I stop loving you. It’s simply setting boundaries and saying no, this energy is no longer welcome as a manifest energy in my presence. I choose to be a manifestation of love and light, as purely as possible. Everything may be love and light, yes, but in terms of physical reality, some manifestations are more purely and clearly expressions of Source than others. Anything inside of me or outside of me that is not a match to the purity of essence, it’s time to let that go. It is necessary in order for me to continue progressing. I can’t hold onto the lower rungs of the ladder anymore, trying to pull them up as I ascend.

There was some energy of “If I let these suffering people into my life, hopefully I can uplift them and be a positive influence in their lives.” It was somewhat of wanting to be a savior. It’s fine to serve and uplift, certainly, but not at the cost of my own well-being. If I’m drained, I can be of service neither to you nor myself.

With all this is going on, I feel parts of my body heating up, as if the kundalini is pushing its way up my spine, hitting a block in a particular chakra, and setting the chakra on fire. It’s like kundalini burns through this energetic presence, torching any resistance that gets in its way. It’s certainly not the most pleasant experience. It is ultimately a movement towards greater expressions of love and freedom, yes, but the roasting of old energy in the process can make one feel pretty insane, especially when it’s resisted and/or judged. Like what in the world is going on with me? This is so not who I know myself to be.

Surrender Surrender Surrender. Forgive. Allow. Let go. Aim for the Love, do your best, and just let go altogether, honoring your humanity as you stumble along the way. Like any marksman, sometimes we hit the mark better than otherwise. Learn from your mistakes, reload, aim, and fire again, hoping to get closer to the mark this next go around. Such is life.

The whole thing about being a loving person… it doesn’t seem like it’s somewhere we finally arrive and then we’re set for life. Like we do something and finally get a medal with “loving person” written on it. It’s more of a way of life, a continued way of being in the world, the sea in which we swim. It’s not about finally getting there and being done with it, but being there and remaining there as you do whatever it is that you do.

Birth and death are two sides of the same coin called Eternal Life. The Life that you are (notice that I did NOT say have) has no opposite. There is no extinguishment of Life. Only the transformation of what arises within it.

One of the egoic mind’s biggest fears is death. Fear of death.

It’s been shown countless times on TV and in movies… someone puts a gun to someone’s head and suddenly they begin begging for their life, willing to do almost anything as long as they’re allowed to live. “Please don’t kill me!”

I find myself being able to relate to this mentality less and less lately. What I’m finding is that I feel like I’m losing my familiar almost instinctual will to live.

Now the dualistic mind may hear this and think, “You don’t want to live? Well then that must mean you want to die! Oh no! What’s wrong!? There must be something wrong!” Right?

But that’s not what I mean in this case. See, it’s more about no longer desperately clinging to one over the other, coming to peace with both, and valuing all of life including life in the physical and the nonphysical, finding that ultimately who you are literally CAN NOT die and that there’s nothing so terrible about the transformation we call death anyways. So… what’s the problem?

(As usual, this is nothing I can or even have any desire to prove. It’s simply something I know, and I have no idea how I know. I just do, and here I am sharing this knowing. There seems to be something deeper to whatever it is that we are that goes beyond guessing and theorizing and just knows.)

Life Beyond Birth and Death

As a separate self with a body/mind/spirit, we tend to identify with objects and ideas, thoughts and emotions. In a way, we experience ourselves almost like we were the clouds in the sky that come and go and change forms in the process.

Yet our true nature is much more like the sky: infinite, vast, eternal, untouchable, and perhaps most notably, empty.

The sky is totally unaffected by even the stormiest of clouds. Does the sky run and hide every time a hurricane blows through? Does the sky mourn the death of a cloud? Does the sky celebrate the birth of a cloud? Well, no. Not at all. There’s really no reaction to the happenings of the clouds, good or bad. The sky is just empty, being. The sky may certainly be aware of the clouds passing through, yet neither clings to nor resists anything the clouds do or don’t do.

This may sound very unemotional and almost heartless, and I suppose in a way it is. What we call emotions are yet more clouds that come and go within the emptiness of the sky/what we are. Instead of emotional, a more accurate pointer to the sky would be allowing and accepting. The sky allows the clouds to be whatever they so choose to be, without judgment, no matter what, for it knows full well that it is unconditionally safe and well.

Similarly, I’m finding that our true nature is not passively disconnected either, as if just being meant that you just don’t care. There’s an almost tangible quality of Love here as well, a Love that I write with a capital L. It’s not the human love we hear about in movies and romance novels where we want to constantly be around the other or somehow feel incomplete without them. Rather, it’s a more unconditional Divine Love based in allowance and appreciation. It’s the type of Love that has no opposite for it arises from the non-dualistic Source that has no opposite. (This statement is a little off given that Love doesn’t actually arise since that it IS everywhere and it IS everything, including a supposed source out of which it would arise, but the perceptual human experience of it may be likened to that of a flow that arises from within, swirls around our consciousness, and is finally expressed without.)

Being Okay With Everything

Anyways, coming back to the idea of the will to live, there is a shift that seems to happen between having a deep investment in one’s personal safety and security and the continuation of the “me,” to a resting in the well-being of Isness, regardless of what happens on the surface.

It’s like we begin taking the world less seriously, no longer really buying into the idea that our safety can literally be found in this world, in emotions, in achievements, in money, or in worldly things in the first place. It’s similar to how you can be totally absorbed in a movie, caught up in the drama, and then later step back and say, “Oh right, it’s just a movie. No biggie.”

To those still caught in the drama of the movie (or dream if you wanna use that word), it may seem uncaring if you no longer take the world’s problems as seriously as you once did, but you from your expanded perspective you can see that even their reactions to your stepping back are just more appearances arising within the dream movie. Heck, even your own reactions are just more of the dream so even they aren’t all that big of a deal either!

Life is okay. Death is okay. Birth is okay. Everything is okay. All is well.

As words this may sound hollow, idealistic, or perhaps even a naïve delusion, especially when life seems horrible. Of course.

Yet when the emptiness within reawakens, there is an untouchableness that arises, for one recognizes that who they truly are can not be touched by anything in this world.

That said, pain is still experienced just as sharply. If you get whacked in the head it’ll still hurt and you may still bleed, just as before. If your body jumps out of a building, gravity still makes it go splat. Of course. Earth’s rules still apply to the earthly part of the infinite you. Yes.

Yet as we fall back into our true nature, clutching onto nothing as we fall and fall and fall, resting nowhere and aware of it all, it seems like there’s a deep okayness with it all, somehow, that doesn’t need to be forced or believed in. This okayness with all of life just naturally arises. With this sense of well-being, there may be a loss, to a greater or lesser extent depending on how life unfolds in this particular case, of the intense egoic will to live.

With this transformation, when it’s time to live as a physicalized being, we do so, peacefully and openly. No attachment or aversion to life or death. When it’s time for awareness to consciously transition back into the non-physical with the experience we call death, that too is accepted peacefully and openly. No attachment or aversion to life or death. There’s no fear, for there is no real death, and “on the other side,” what could there possibly be other than more of this infinite One that you truly are? More experiences for the youless you.

If you’re gonna live, live. If you’re gonna die, die. No worries. No resistance. Hakuna matata.

Defending Your Life

So if we find ourselves totally okay with life and death, what about the question, “Should I defend my own life should someone try to take it?”

I really like the responses to Neale’s inquiries given in the books Conversations with God.

In the dialogs, God actually gave two different answers, depending upon the context of the being whose life is being threatened.

The first answer was directed towards your everyday regular asleep person living on the earth. The response was that if someone is abusing you, you should stop the abuse. Not only is it a reflection of loving yourself, but it also demonstrates your love for the other, for when one is allowed to abuse another, the abuser too is experiencing abuse.

The second answer was given from the perspective of a highly evolved being, or an HEB as it was referred to in the book. The perspective of the HEB would be along the lines of, “If you feel so strongly that you need to take my life for your own evolution, please do so. I love you that much to lay down my life and give you the gift of this experience. I know that I am an eternal being and recognize that I will be okay no matter what decisions are made. Not only this, I understand that I too played a role in the co-creation of this experience and as such, there’s no need for me to invalidate this creation. From here, there is simply a recognition of what I created and a new choice that is consciously made as a reflection of who I now choose to be.”

So, would you defend your life if someone wanted to take it? Well, that totally depends on a whole number of things, including but not limited to such things as your own level of consciousness, who you’re dealing with, the context of the situation, who else is involved, and so on. It doesn’t seem to be very black and white.

Defending the Lives of Others

I was talking about this with my mom earlier today she asked both about defending your own life as well as defending the lives of those you love. For example, she said that she would do more to prevent the death of her children than to prevent her own death.

What do you think? I’d love to hear your perspective on this, especially those of you who are parents. I have no kids of my own and don’t feel that biological pull to start a family at this point in my life, so I’m sure many of you could relate to this better than I could.

If someone were to try and take the lives of your children or loved ones, would you intervene?

Would you kill the attacker if need be or would it be preferable to simply disable or injure them, sparing their life?