I would also add that we may wish to see these experiences as milestones, but don’t get the impression “this is it”. As Ismaelia well observed “This is nothing like I expected it to be.” Thats a very good sign – it is never what we expect as expectations are mind. Mind will automatically make the experience a memory and create concepts. Thats fine – its doing it’s job. But these are not it and if you hold to them as examples of it, that can be a barrier to being.

No experience is permanent but true being is. TJones, you may be experiencing a sort of duality where you seem to be a person but also a presence that contains the person. That’s very good. Presence will get more dominant until it finally “switches”. But enlightenment is much more than this. First step is awakening to the illusion of the individual. Then to the illusion of the world. Then to the whole thing. And then to the illusion of the illusion. (laughs) This is the dawning of Oneness, the unity of all things. With that there is no longer an experiencer, so no experiences.

Don’t be in a rush to say “I am enlightened”. This is a meaningless concept as no I is ever enlightened. No I can achieve it as no I even exists.

The anxiety Ismaelia observed can come up – this may be some purging triggered by purity. It can also be a very clear experience of the deeper mechanics of the ego and its previously sub-conscious identity. The key is to just see it as part of the process or environment. Once seen, it will pass.

Just have fun with it and don’t take it all too seriously. That spoils the fun and you may miss the cosmic jokes. ;-)

Does it feel now that there is a “me” who had that experience?

But as far as the actual experience, I was Infinite/Bliss/Background-of-Awareness. The body felt very empty, like it was missing some fundamental aspect. There was absolutely no resistance and no facial expression, except for the Bliss that shone through. Looking in the mirror, the face looked radically different, so loving and present. It was a MAJOR shift of consciousness. But this wasn’t “the end” as I knew there was still more developing to do.

As far as getting there, I was meditating, being aware of Awareness being, and noticing anything else in addition to Awareness. I was knocking away the “extras” to Awareness by the cancellation method. (Ex: If I feel locked in “ego mode” I notice this isn’t the same ego that was in 5th grade, and they cancel out and fall away, leaving Awareness, plus whatever else needs to be canceled out.) I just kept doing that with anything “extra” to Awareness.

I realized the body was a process, inseparable from the rest of the world. Same with thinking. And with feelings. Body process, thinking process, and feeling process weren’t all bundled up into one package as a self, but were just there happening, along with lots of other processes. I realized thinking has no source, just like the headboard of my bed has no source…it’s just there. That final realization – that thought doesn’t even have a source but is just there like my headboard – is what did it for me.

I’ve spent all day trying to make this happen again, but to no avail. I’m still on Chapter 2 of “The Most Rapid and Direct Means to Eternal Bliss.” Right now I am not fully identified with Self/Awareness, but I recognize its timeless presence always with me, something I wasn’t experiencing before.

I hope I’m not commenting too much.
I’m going to keep trying non-stop until I get there again. I don’t care about anything else now.

One can awaken to source and see there is source and myself, separate. Some call this jiva or soul awakening.

Deeper, one switches from being a person experiencing Self to Self experiencing a person. That is first awakening. Sometimes, asking yourself the question “where am I?” can illuminate it.

It’s not uncommon for mind to arise again after the switch but once the switch is made, its permanent. At a certain point, the mind simply lets go. It will be clearer with time if it’s not obvious right away.

But this is not the goal, if we can call it that. You want to go well past simple awakening. You want to awaken everything.

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