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20 Fun Ways to Win Spiritual Arguments
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I’d like to share a few ideas with you, neutral ideas which can be used for good or evil. They can be used humorously, for spiritual growth, or to just piss people off. What you do is up to you. 
Okay, so there’s a bunch of fun ways to respond to criticism and blow off arguments using spiritual principles. Sure they’re just ways to dance around taking responsibility, among other things, but still. 
Here’s a list of 20 different ways to sidestep attacks from a spiritual perspective:
1) The World is an Illusion
Get your elbows off the table!
My elbows don’t exist. Neither does the table! It’s all an illusion.
2) All Realities Exist Now
Get your elbows off the table!
That’s just one reality. Another reality where my elbows are off the table is ultimately just as real as this one.
3) Advaita
Why are you being such a jerk?
Who is asking the question?
4) Go Meditate
You’re being a jerk.
Meditate. You’ll see it doesn’t matter for your true nature as awareness has no preference.
5) The World is your Mirror
Quit being such a jerk!
Does it bother you? What part of yourself is being reflected back to you?
6) Non-judgment
You’re a jerk!
That’s just a judgment. It’s only your ego’s perspective. Quit judging me.
7) Projection
You are a total jerk!
I am neutral. You are projecting your own beliefs onto me and thus think that I’m a jerk.
8) Mistaken Identity
You are a jerk!
A person is not their behaviors.
9) Presence
Why were you being such a jerk?
That was 5 minutes ago. Be in the Now, man!
10) Slap Happy
Stop being a jerk!
Just turn the other cheek.
11) Law of Attraction
You’re such a jerk!
Why did you attract this experience into your reality?
12) What You Focus On Expands
You’re being a jerk!
By thinking about it and placing your attention on me, you’re continuing to create this reality. Think happy thoughts!
13) Karma
Why are you being such a jerk?
Probably because you were once a jerk to someone else and what goes around comes around.
14) Reincarnation
You’re such a jerk!
I’ll bet you were a jerk in your past life. How does it feel to be on the receiving end?
15) Imperfection Doesn’t Exist
You’re a jerk!
Why bother changing anything? Everything is perfect as it is. Existence is.
16) Control
Quit being a jerk!
You’re not in control of your reality. Surrender to God!
17) The Bracelet Salesman
You’re such a jerk!
WWJD?
18) The Mind Can’t Know Truth
Sir, do you know how fast you were going?
No officer, I don’t know anything.
19) Love Thyself
Johnny! Stop masturbating!
But my teacher told me to love myself!
20) Silence is Golden
You’re such a jerk!
—————
Bonus: We Are All One
You’re such a jerk!
Well, since we are all one, so are you!
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12 Responses to “20 Fun Ways to Win Spiritual Arguments”
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“MIKE, stop masturbating!”
“I only masturbate because you believe I do!”
Haha i loved this!
Wow! Now it’s getting dangerous …
But funny too. Hm, why did I attract this experience into my reality?
Myrko | AwakeBloggers last blog post..The Dalai Lama’s Guide to Happiness
I don’t know. If someone came back at me with one of those responses, they’d lose teeth. Now. Guess I’m not so spiritual.
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I loved number 13!
Why are you being such a jerk?
Maybe because you’ve been a jerk to someone before, and what goes around comes around.
Great Post…had me laughing and learning at the same time
Nathans last blog post..Multitasking Divides You
I just find myself praying for them while walking away. It saves so much time.
“18) The Mind Can’t Know Truth
Sir, do you know how fast you were going?
No officer, I don’t know anything.”
Classic! I can just imagine using that
“MIKE, stop masturbating!”
Insert ANY of the 20 responses. Here are some of the funnier ones to me
LOL!
- Why did you attract this experience into your reality?
- WWJD?
- I’ll bet you were caught masturbating in your past life. How does it feel to be on the receiving end?
- You’re not in control of your reality. Surrender to God.
I am neutral. You are projecting your own beliefs onto me and thus think that I’m masturbating.
Hahahah OH MY GOD! I was smiling at most of them but number 3 and 19 actually made me laugh out loud.
Albert | UrbanMonk.Nets last blog post..Melting Away Your Self-Defeating Behaviors with Behaviorism, Part 2
My favorite is 18 and 19! Loooool!